break

jump. up and down.

let out that one loud: "whew!"

i need sleep.

free.
at least for a few weeks.

wise words on finals week

One of my favorite characters in Grey's Anatomy is Dr. Preston Burke and I remembered him say the following quoted lines while I was reviewing for my Corporation Law exam.

From the episode Blues For Sister Someone [2.23]

Burke (talking to Christina): There was an interview that Eugene (famous violinist) gave. I saved it. I taped it to my bathroom mirror. He said that he wasn’t the most talented student at music school. But he said what he lacked in natural ability, he made up for in discipline. He practiced. All the time. All the time he practiced. I wasn’t like you. I wasn’t the most talented student in school. I wasn’t the brightest. But I was the best.
Christina: You practiced.
Burke: I practiced

He practiced. I'll practice.
I miss Preston Burke on Grey's.

finals

Finals na naman.

Kung tutuusin mas gusto ko pag-araw ng exam dahil walang recits. Ang ayoko lang ay ang mga araw bago mag-exam. Ayoko nung feeling na kailangan ko mag-aral. Fine, kailangan ko naman talaga mag-aral pero ayoko ng pakiramdam na kailangan siya. Mas hindi ako nagfa-function pag ganon. Pero, balibaligtarin ko man ang mundo wala naman akong choice kundi mag-aral, o piliin ko nalang na tanggaping hindi pumasa. Shempre ayoko nun.

_______

******Ang hirap talaga magsulat sa Pilipino. Bakit ko ba ginagawa to?
_______

Natatanong ko tuloy ang sarili ko, kahit makailang ulit ko na itong naitanong, bakit nga ba ako nagpapakahirap mag-aral ng batas? Kung tutuusin pede rin naman akong kumita ng pera sa ibang propesyon. Nasubukan ko na nga iyon, diba? Mas madaling maging empleyado. Magtatrabaho ka (at pag minsan, magpapanggap) ng walong oras isang araw tapos buwan-buwan meron ng laman ang ATM account mo. Pag uwi mo ng bahay, uupo ka na sa harap ng TV, matutulog, tapos kinabukasan papasok ka na ulit sa opisina. Pag weekend pede kang makipagkita sa mga kaibigan. Pwede mag-out of town ng walang iniisip na sandamakmak na kasong babasahin. Walang mashadong sakripisyo, di tulad sa law school. Mas marami kang oras para sa sarili. At mas maraming pera.

Malamang yun ang problema.

Kumita na kasi ako e. Tama naman nga sila, me epekto ang pagtigil sa pag-aaral para magtrabaho. Pero kung tutusin, kung gusto mo naman talaga ang isang bagay kahit na anong mangyari hindi ka titigil hanggang makuha mo ang iyong nais. Kaya nga ako bumalik sa pag-aaral. Para maabot ang pangarap (Shet! Ang cheesy!) Hay. Ang gulo.

Stop.

Tumawag ang ninang at pinsan ko. May tinatanong sila tungkol sa Condominium Law at Legal Separation. Tama ba naman yun? Kung kelang nag-eemote ako sa pagtatanong kung bakit ako nag-aaral tamang tatawag sila at magtatanong. O well. Sinagot ko naman sa abot ng aking makakaya. Sa tingin ko naman nakuntento sila sa sagot ko. Palagay ko rin naman tama.

Eto kaya ang sagot sa mga walang kwenta kong tanong ngayong gabi?

Pucha. Makapag-aral na nga.

booze-ing

Finally! I've figured out how to paste this video. I have been having problems uploading it on my Multiply site, but thanks to Bianca's Obama Video which at one point pushed me to think harder how to actually embed a video from YouTube here in Blogger. (I refuse to ask, I am quite proud, y'know. Although, I did asked her, but I figured it out before she actually replied. Hahahaha!)

So, the video...I stumbled upon it, once, while browsing Inquirer.Net. Aaannd I was fascinated with all the variety of beers available it this place they call Beers Paradise. Hmn...

This place deserves a try. (evil grin)ü

More on beers...

Last Valentine's Day, I learned that there is Choco-Flavored beer marketed in Japan. According to the news article, it's made up of several kinds of malt which give its chocolate-y taste (Sounds like MIlo. Hahaha!) Alcohol content is 8.9 percent.

Interesting, huh?

And since Kath is in Kobe, I immediately asked her to bring me home a bottle. ;p Hopefully she finds one.

chasing cars

I have always loved this song. Currently though, I am enjoying Natasha Bedingfield's version.

But the more I listen to it, the more it unfolds to me a thousand new more meanings.

Perfect.

___________



We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay hereIf I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay hereIf I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay hereIf
I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

let me sleep

I am having a recurring dream.

For the first two occasions I dreamt about it, I did not bother. I thought, maybe it's just one of those images that pass your mind at sleep. Until I dreamt of it the third, fourth and fifth time.

Now, I wonder. Does this already mean something? Is my subconscious telling me something I do not know? Or is it letting a forsaken memory surface?

I am not really a believer of dream symbols, and dreams being prophetic. All I know is that one's subconscious mind surfaces during sleep. So, dreams can be manifestations of hidden thoughts, hopes or fears.

I am puzzled. Is my recurring dream still part of my subconscious? Is it a fear or a desire maybe? For one, my mind is successful in bringing it to my attention. I can't let it off my consciousness now.

Am having goosebumps.

one afternoon along taft avenue

Tapping my fingers on my hardbound, maroon covered book.

Why does it always feel that I am like that two-year old kid who has been told not to touch my marshmallow so I can get another one? (And I comply.)

Why is it excruciatingly painful to wait?

Is it because of the seemingly useless passing of time while you are stuck somewhere you feel you shouldn’t be? Or will it be less troubling not knowing where you want to be and simply sit and let things unfold before you? Isn’t the process still tiring and taxing nevertheless?

It’s that prolonged agony of getting to a destination, a thing, a dream, a person—that long lull between you and a desire.

Who ever wants to wait, in the first place?

A Jesuit priest once said that waiting is a sacrament. Thus, to my frail understanding, it is an avenue of grace. Am lost in the mystery.

application for permission to date my daughter

I read this from Lea Salonga's Multiply Blog. (Yes, I read her blog. Curse me. Judge me. I don't care!) I find this hilarious.

See, I spent my teenage years without having a dad at home. So, if I go out on dates or just with friends, at the very least, it's my Mom's seething anger that will welcome anyone who would dare ask permission. (Oh, she's changed. Naman! Ilang taon na ba ako? Hahaha!) My dad was cool as I thought and known him to be such, but I still wonder how he'd handle these kinda stuff if he was actually here. I remember mom telling me, that on one time she visited dad, how my dad cried and told her that he wants to go home when he read my letter where I told him that I have a suitor at 13. Hahaha! Hilarious, but I loved it.

Anyway, here goes Lea's entry:

I saw this on a friend's blog... I thought to post it here this early, many years before my own daughter begins dating.

And just so you know... I'm great with a gun.
-----------------------------
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME ____________________________DATE OF BIRTH ____________

HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT _________ IQ _________GPA _________

SOCIAL SECURITY #______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #____________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_____________________________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________________________ ZIP______


Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No

If No, explain: ___________________________________________

Number of years they have been married _________________________________

If less than your age, explain ___________________________________________



ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No

pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? ______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?_____________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? ____________ mother? ___________ pastor? ____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
_________________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

__________________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the: __________________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

__________________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? __________________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

________________________________________________________________

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________



I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

__________________________________________________________________

Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!) _______________________________ ___________________________

Mother's Signature Father's Signature _______________________________ ________________________________

Pastor/Priest/ Rabbi State Representative/Congressman



Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back) .



To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.


Daddy's Rules for Dating

Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're surely not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

movie marathon, anyone?

This is a repost from Kukay's Multiply Blog. I have always been amazed by Geng's dad, with all the artsy-bitsy thing that he is. Dyan mana si Geng e.

I'll find time to check these movies out sometime. (And I better publish this ASAP, before I kill myself. I am supposed to be studying, you see?)

________

This article will see print on People's Journal (ata) within the week. Column ito ng tatay ko and i'm sharing it here.
My kuya, who is working in the Middle East, usually emails my dad about trivial stuff and my very sweet poodrahbel includes some of their email conversations in his column. Kuya writes and Poodrah reacts.

Listahan lang ‘to ng mga pelikulang astig

Ulat ng anak:

JOY gave me this website so as to combat boredom and to watch movies even before they are shown on the big screen... She knows that I am a movie buff and I love remakes, not to mention my knowledge of books turned into movies.... I usually watch movies and TV series in this site. My current series favorite is Prison Break (adapted from Clint Eastwood's Escape from Alcatraz) and Smallville (I am a superman fan ever since kaya hilig ko ito). Downloading these movies for, well, pirating (yari pag nalaman ito ng OMB) is a different thing and be sure you have Quickplayer, Flashplayer and DIVX since most of these movies are rip offs (not to mention illegally taken).

If you want to watch old movies that have better quality... Maraming old movies dun as well as new ones and rip offs. Dito ko napanood ‘yung old movies ni George Romero and yung The 300 Spartans (mas maganda pa rin ang 300 ni Frank Miller) but you have to have the mentioned programs in the PC before you can watch. Ask assistance from Aaron or Arjuna (for sure ikatutuwa din ito ng dalawa).

Ulot ng kulamnistang ama:

ADD this to an arbitrary list of must-see films— with the most memorable lines or silences I can reckon:

(1) Kazuo Mori’s Zatoichi at Large had the blind swordsman protagonist hemmed in an orchard by a tangle of peach tree branches groaning with the weight of ripe fruits. Protagonist sniffs at the deluge of sweet ripe scents, plucks out a fruit, and trudges on—why, he could have plucked a lot or gorged himself but didn’t. Too bad movies don’t come with aromas to touch our noses. That silent scene had me chewing a lot of cud about taking only the needful burden on one’s body.

(2) Yoji Yamada’s The Twilight Samurai had the dirt-poor retainer telling the samurai he was ordered to kill that all he had on himself was a bamboo sword—doomed samurai villain’s gaunt face manifests a chiaroscuro of emotions before going berserk at what he deems was an insult at his swordsmanship. That’s a scene packed with pregnant silences before the bloodbath— but the movie is all about a hard-up petty samurai trying to raise two kids and an elderly mom, something too close to a Pinoy’s heart.

(3) Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai had this peasant character mawkishly, awfully, woefully holding back his tears as he stares at an empty rice bin—its contents filched the previous night. The film in all its show of martial strategy, tactics, and no-holds-barred brutality is a fight for RICE…

(4) The Christian Bale-starrer American Psycho starts out with a passionless monologue that sounds like a Dr. Vicky Belo advertisement of skin-care products. The horror of a hollow life is probed to its marrow in this novel-turned-film.

(5) Nagisa Oshima’s In the Realm of the Senses has a solemn, silent foreshadowing scene which limns the woman protagonist—she has no undies on and lets out a dark eyeful in her romping moments-- with two giggling kids in a sitting room. Scene ends as femme fatal grabs the young boy’s crotch, boy cries but she holds on to his penis.

(6) The Rosauro de la Cruz scenario Scorpio Nights opens with panoply, unrelenting, all-out assault of maddening din that defines the microcosm of an urban poor setting—no let up to the noise that invades even the nooks and crannies of even clothed crotches. So it’s no shock that the Anna Marie Gutierrez character whispers to her lover within her husband’s earshot, “Kantutin mo ‘ko.”

(7) Ken Kesey’s novel-turned-movie metaphor for an authoritarian regime One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest has this finale in which the supposedly mute character Big Chief grunts then heaves off a drinking fountain, and as water geysers out, he smashes the lunatic’s asylum windows with the fountain, then, flees.

(8) The 1954 Gary Cooper-starrer High Noon packs taut tension in a no-dialogue panning shot of the protagonist trudging through the streets of his town, seeking out volunteer deputies for his noon showdown with a convict who swore to kill him. It’s an emotional tug-of-war between shirking from social responsibility and heeding duty’s call.

(9) Orson Welles’s Citizen Kane paints the portrait of a ruthless media mogul who barks this unforgettable line to a correspondent sent off to cover a war that never was, “You write the news, we provide the war!”

(10) Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner had this wry line spouted off by a replicant, “We came to meet our maker” that sums up a creature’s undying yearning to interface with his creator, superhuman seeking a not-so-puny god.

(11) A Viet movie, The Scent of Green Papayas had a sigh, a reverie smack in hard-nosed reality, a pause for a sequence featuring the female protagonist listening to her pet cricket in a tiny bamboo cage…

flickr and double C

I have just recently revived my Flickr account, which I have finally decided to be the repository of most of my amateur shots as a budding photographer (/lawyer). Most of those are random shots while some are documentation of my adventures with nature.

I have always loved taking pictures (and being taken of, as well. Hehe!) and most of my friends tell me that I have perspective. Guess, it is a flair. My works aren't as good as those which I have seen but I am happy when I see them.

Although back in college I have already wanted to get myself to get hold of a camera and shoot around, I refused to indulge. Back then, the SLR's are manual which work for films. I decided that it'll be too costly for me to spend on rolls and rolls of it. So randomly, I just took bits of photography advice from those who have decided to embark on the pricey hobby. And I noted. Most are about framing and focus. I tried using them everytime I get the chance peak through the lens.

In the advent of digital cameras, I took the pleasure of taking as many shots as I can with the little gadget that I used to borrow from friends. Until my dad brought home one pocket digital cam to my delight! My pocket digicam went with me to the mountains I've climbed to the bars with friends and to a city outside the Philippines. I took all the pictures I can. (This even caused my mom and I to fight. She accused me of being a photo addict. O yes, I am. Hahaha!) The pocket digicam later evolved to a DSLR. Woohoo! Although, it is a communal among all the family members, only one of my brothers and I use it most of the time.

This year, I will spend more time learning more of photography. The artsy side of me will be blooming once more.
---------------------------------


"Some rights reserved", hailed Creative Commons.

This afternoon, I attended the launching of Creative Commons and Creative Commons Philippines Philippines V. 3.0 (CC-PH) at school. It is a non-stock, non-profit organization worldwide which seeks to liberalize (according to the discretion of the author of the work) the use, distribution and exercise of all other rights of any created work without any legal repurcussions. Creative Commons provides creators with the option of acquiring licenses that defines which freedoms they want their works to carry.

Copyright immediately attaches to any person's created work. It can be a song (which may pertain to the melody or the lyrics together or separately), a book, a script, an article (which includes this blog entry), an artwork, a photo, maps, sketches, etc. Thus, the author of the created work is attributed as the rightful owner of the work and he/she can exercise all the rights attached to it. The symbol of depicting an encircled C serves as notice that the owner of the work reserves all his rights over the created work and excludes the whole world from exercising such. Although Copyright is protective, it may also be restrictive. CC provides for an option to make it less restrictive considering the proliferation of lots of created works in the Internet.

On a personal note, I find this initiative very good. It encourages freer exchange of works, promotes collaboration (which can lead to improvement of craft) and a maximized exercise of one's freedom.

Image on left:© 2008. Berne Guerrero. Some Rights Reserved. Except when otherwise noted , this work is licensed under
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/ph/

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

What Ma. Fatima Gimenez De Chavez Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun. Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you. You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night. Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

adieu, oh-seven

I wasn't particularly in the mood to put down stuffs on my blog, especially lately. I'm enjoying much of "me" time and keeping things to myself. I've been spending more time on my paper journal than here.ü

But I do want to post something before the New Year goes in full swing. Haha!Maybe just to remove some cobwebs in here. (Uh-huh. OC-OC me... Hahaha!)

A few days before 2008, I started asking myself what are the things I want to work on, change, try for the first time, do-all-over-again and all those New Year resolutions thing that you can think of. Then it dawned to me, that New Year isn't as monumental as it really is. Truth is, it is just another day. Nothing different from all the others, except that the multitude of people think that it is. Tradition perhaps. But come to think of it, it really isn't anything special after all. In fact, we can even set a date other than January 1 to reckon a period.

So, what is my point in stating that observation? Wala lang.

Seriously, I felt that I got in more practical view of life that the externals of life remain to be such. It is only us who impress meaning on things. We want certain days to be special; we build momentum; we create traditions. WE. If that is the case, then the January 1 is just another day still, but we can use its momentum to put meaning in our mediocre existence.

Everybody wishes everyone a Happy New Year.

In my case, I continue hoping that each day unfolds to be better for me, and everyone that is dear to me (and hopefully to others as well), not only every start of every Gregorian Calender year but in our entire stay on Earth (and beyond). I look forward to each day filled with bounty, love and peace. I expect little surprises that will blow me away and make me stand in awe on how things fall in their proper places according to the Higher Power that coordinates things for our good. In each day, I look forward to daring myself, learning new things, growing and constantly letting go of those which aren't beneficial after all.

During New Year's eve, we let off fireworks to brighten the dark sky with fancy shapes and colors. This year, I will paint my own dark sky and let the light stay.



------------------

For this year, I have decided to list down stuff that would want to accomplish, rekindle and try. Here's a sneak peek. I'll keep most to myself.

1) Rekindle my romance with my Camera and Languages (either I polish my Spanish or formally learn French)
2) Travel more. (How about another out of the country trip? Mwahahaha!)

....and a lot more.

kin

My cute little Joshua

With pretty Therese

It was nice playing with you guys. I really had fun for those two mornings we spent laughing and exchanging stories. By this time, you must be in San Diego already.
I'll see you again, kids. Be good and always take care. ü

a bit grown

If I have learned to love, don't ask why. I too do not understand. My mind is weary of figuring things out. And I have succumbed to let it rest. Whether this is right or am committing a mistake, I do not care. What matters is am at peace with myself. I have known. I am glad I've known. I'm still fierce. Not so afraid anymore.

Loving as I have finally grasped is not about who and why, or how.

Or maybe it is still a choice. I chose to accept that I felt.

I am happy. I felt I've grown. I think, I have.

juego de anillo

Dear Pa,

Em and I were looking for some photos for display earlier when I found these old photos. These were taken during the Family Day when I was in Prep. We had our field demonstration which I hated then because of the heat. But I was happy to have you and Mom there present to watch me perform. Moreso, I get to join most of the games that time because I had both a mom and a dad to play with.

I remember how much I wanted to join "Juego de Anillo" that morning. It was a game exclusively for kids and dads. I didn't even know what the rules of this game were, but it sounded very peculiar to me, so I thought it might be interesting. I think you knew that I wanted to play this one, because even before I asked, you already invited me to join. I remember you saying, "Tara, Pache, sali tayo!". You were very giddy, much more than I was. I loved you more for that. You were the bestest Papa then (and you still are). I wasn't sure what was it that you saw that you seemed to be sure I wanted to play. Was it a certain look? Did you read my body language? Or is there really a language only fathers and daughters understand? I don't know. But I was thankful you asked.

As you placed me on your shoulders, I was getting more excited. (Now, I am sure that I tend to hide my emotions. I remember I was also very giddy then, but I refused to show. Hahaha!) I could hear you shouting out our strategy on how we're gonna get the ring with the unsharpened pencil in the hand. Initially, when the rules were said my excited diminished and slowly I had doubts on whether I can string the ring. I was afraid I might not perform what I was supposed to do. I was worried I might disappoint you. But in the middle of the noise all around us, I heard you say "Kaya mo yan, Pache! Kaya naten to! Focus ka lang sa ring." Then I was so sure we are gonna win. "Sabi mo, Pa e!"

When I heard the cue to start, you started running towards the ring. I was in fighting form. I did everything just as you told me. Most importantly, I did not lose sight of our goal. You performed your part well (the running) and I knew that I have to do mine well too. I told myself, "We have to win. i cannot disappoint Papa."

And we did!

We did it and I was so happy!. Look at my Kodak moment shot! Ninong Noel did a good one on this. Look at how proud I was. I knew I did well, but I was even more proud because that time I felt I was the only kid whose Papa was intensely into the game as I am. We were a team then, and I knew you also wanted to win because it's gonna make me happy. I felt everyone else was starting when we shouted that we won! I was enjoying the stares then, because they are staring at me while am on my Papa's shoulders. He made me win. He did this more than I.

Thanks so much for that glorious moment. These pictures reminded me of how much you have supported me in the things I have wanted. I've always knew that my heart sends you signals that helps me tell you its secret wishes. And you never failed me. O yes, there are times you also have disappointed me by not acceding to my whims, but in the end I always get the best I can possibly have. Thank you for showing me immeasurable love. You are the greatest!ü

I miss you.

Hugs,

Faith

There is a welling emotion in my chest. It's a familiar feeling but I do not want to name it. It feels like fear mixed with terror.

Oh, yes. I am terrified.

I do not want to let go of my sunny and bright attitude. But every time, I touch the core of me, I freak out!

Am scared. So scared.

Maybe it's just a ghost I have created. Or maybe it is a ghost of the past. I do not know. Still I am scared.

breathe

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

irony

If life is made up of changing seasons, why do we work for permanence?

de-stressed

Sembreak is ticking out. Soon, I will be romancing with law books all over again. My four-week break (I didn't realize it was that long) was sooo good. I was able get lots of sleep and good food (oh, i did earned some pounds, hay) . I met up with old friends. I was able to finish Grey's Anatomy Season 3 (I love Preston Burke and I see myself in Cristina Yang.) I also started with House (that is, literally started: Episode 1.) I've read a lot of non-law books. And I also went to... BICOL.

Mayon Volcano at 10am on our way to Tabaco, Albay.
The view was better at 6 am, no clouds then.
But the view from the hotel isn't very good for photo taking.

This Bicol trip is supposed to be a business trip but at the same time I took the opportunity to commune with nature. The trip was tiringly long. Ten hours by land. I've slept all that I can sleep. I even tried reading on a moving vehicle (which I know isn't right or I'll continue ruining my eyes.) But I loved the stillness of the greens we are passing by on the road. Nothing like the city that I have grown accustomed with. I needed a breather and thank God I had it.

I've been to several places in the Bicolandia--Daet (in Camarines Norte) , Naga and Pili (in Camarines Sur), Legaspi, Daraga and Tabako (in Albay). For the first time, I have seen the magnificent Mayon Volcano. As the locals would say, if you have seen it's glory without any clouds covering it at least at the moment you came, the volcano is welcoming you to the place. I am welcomed.ü The food was excellent! We had our servings of Lato (seaweeds), Bicol Express, and Pangat (Laing).

Stress, I have learned is a word that is originally used in engineering. It pertains to the maximum weight that a steel can take. And now we use that to describe the pressures of human beings. I have realized that city life stressed me much and good thing my Bicol experience softened me a bit. This sembreak de-stressed me. And it is good. Very good. I had my good friends with me in the Bicol trip too, which spiced the whole thing. Plus the extra money on our pockets.ü

Juris, Faith and Dee as we arrived in Naga City.

Am ready for another sem closer to the bar.

season three

Finally, I have finished Grey's Anatomy Season 3. I wasn't a series freak, nor was I very interested in this series even if my friends have gone gaga over it when it started. But for some reason, I got hooked to it. At the start it was only because of the dialogues. I liked the insights of the scriptwriter. Eventually, as I get to know the characters bit by bit, I get more interested to know them and associate my self to their experiences.

I admired Preston Burke's mystery from the very start. He was a very good cardio-thoracic surgeon. Brilliant even. I also loved Cristina Yang, a surgical intern. Although at the start, I didn't like her rigidity and inhumane, voracious character. But I realized I loved her being ambitious and a go-getter. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. She works hard and she is focused. She isn't like any other woman who spends time day dreaming and whining. She doesn't even seem to have a sweet bone inside of her. But she later learned how to protect her man, when Burke needed keep a secret about his profession. That may be a down side, but later I realized I see much of myself in her. Yang knew how to compromise and sacrifice too.

Meredith and Derek's love story brought me to being nauseous. While Burke and Yang's interested me a lot. It is brutal. Harsh, even. No mush. But very intense. Sandra Oh, the Hollywood actress playing Yang's character, said in an interview in Oprah that Yang did love Burke so much. Sadly, it didn't ended like I wanted it to. O well... Too much for fairy tales. Grey's isn't a fairy tale after all.