reflections of a bar ops volunteer

The Bar Examinations for 2007 started yesterday. This means that the schools and people supporting are up and about the Bar Operations.

I signed in as volunteer for the Bar Operations (Hotel Ops specifically) for the Arellano Barristers. But before my shift, I did my personal bar ops for my former classmates from UST. After my Civil Procedure class, Carlisle and I hitched a ride with Froi and off we went to Manila Hotel where they were housed.

Grabe! Maaaliw ka sa kanilang lahat. Iba-iba ang coping mechanisms ng mga tao para sa tensyon nila for the first day ng bar. Well, shempre first eve yun so nde pa din talaga nila alam ano ang ieexpect sa La Salle. Si Rem, wala... petiks na. Ready na ata e. Mindset lang din tlaga yan e. Si Ernest, Hala! Sige aral pa din. Security blanket siguro. Si Ohme, nagbabasa pero nirereklamo nila na ang tagal magbasa. I guess, dina-digest nya mabuti. Si Pantas, cool lang...pero basa pa din. Si Peds, petiks din. Tutulog daw sya ng maaga. Tama naman. Mahirap ang puyat pagnag-eexam. Si Aira, nakikipagdiscuss sa mga kapatid nya. Hindi ko nakita si TL nung gabing yun.

For a law student, Bar Examinations is the culmination of your years of toil. This will define your life...so, better make it good. Give the best of all you have.

I realized that, again, it is all about preparation. Physical, psychological, emotional and most importantly, mental. The exams need answers. It's about inner drive, although encouragement from people close to you are important as well. School support is very crucial too. This one I've seen with the spectacular Bar Operations of AUSL. Although, this year's Bar Examinations Chairperson did not allow the loud music that has become a tradition. According to her, Bar Exams shouldn't be a fanfare but a solemn ceremony instead. O well... But I liked it better the traditional way.ü

I could have been a barister for this year's Bar Examination, but I have to admit I am not yet prepared. I'll have my turn in 2010.ü As I ushered them to the La Salle premises, I felt a pinch inside but most importantly, I felt pride that my friends made it. And they will definitely make it over the Bar.

Sa mga, Barista...Kaya nyo yan! Andito lang kami nagdarasal para sa inyo.

lager night

It's my first time to attend Lager Night. It is a regular event in AUSL where there is bottomless booze and lots of partying. (Btw, this is sponsored by the school and the AUSL SC.) As the Dean of Admissions would always say: "Law school is hard as it is, why would we make it harder? It is supposed to be FUN." In AUSL, yes, law school is fun.ü

Tonight's party is also the send-off for the 2007 AUSL Barristers. Cheers to you guys! You can make it!ü (It's a post midterms parteh too!)

Here are some of the shots I got from my phone. (Tsk. I should have brought a camera!ü Maybe next time.)

From left to right; top row: Juris with her friend; AUSL peeps drinking their hearts out; that's me with a glass of draft; mid row: with Andrea (IPL classmate); with Liz; with Greysh; bottom row: UST peeps (kaye, liz,greysh, me and froi); marshall shirt for the bar ops + beer; juris, froi, greysh, kaye and liz

We study hard...and we party hard!ü

25

I just turned 25.

My birthday wasn't extravagant nor fabulous, but it was definitely happy. Let me share with you the highlights.

1) Barley treated me out for dinner on Tuesday night to anticipate for 12 midnight. He waited for me until after my class. So, basically what we had was a "late dinner" already at 10pm. It was a very fun meal. Sobra tawa kami ng tawa kasi check ng check si Bar ng relo nya. Mas excited pa sa akin sa birthday ko.ü Thanks, Bar! That was the sweetest.ü What I loved most is the Grey's Anatomy Season 3 DVD. I was right not to buy one for myself. Hehe!

2) At midnight when we were already having some beer, text messages and phone calls started flooding in. For all those who greeted...THANKS SO MUCH. Thanks for staying up late. And for the law students (who are expected to be awake by that time) thanks for greeting. I really, really appreciate it. Kiwi, thanks for the call.ü (Mirror, sobrang thank you for letting these people know.ü)

3) In the morning, I woke up with my mom in the kitchen preparing my favorite foods. I love birthdays. I asked for chocolate cake for dinner, though.

4) Wena and I spoke on the phone for more than an hour. Hahaha!ü

5) I had lunch with Gen and Zeny at Beanhoppers. And they gave me a slice of chocolate cake. (Ang aga ng chocolate cake ko.ü) We missed Kath, again. :c But I really, really feel loved. Thanks for missing class..Hehe! You are so sweet, sisters.

6) I met up with Juris at the lib before class.. It so nice to see my mirror on the day of my birthday.

7) I heard mass at San Isidro Chapel at around 630. My birthday falls on the commemoration of the Beheading of Saint John the Baptist and I always complain why the Gospel does not change. It was only that night that I realized it's importance in my life. I prayed for a good life. I knew I'm gonna get it. I walked back to school with Dean Lazo.

8) I got myself an AUSL jacket. Nice.ü

9) Upon arriving home, I had dinner with my siblings. It was all fun and laughter. I realized how my siblings have grown up too. Mom isn't feeling well so she can't wait for me anymore. I just have to let her sleep.

10) I got a message from a friend from Canada. I was set into tears. Love you, padre!ü

So, that was it. I was actually thinking of a more fab entry. Nah, what is important is that my birthday was a happy one. I enjoyed it and most importantly I felt so loved.ü

recess

Recess - noun, a break in a trial or other court proceedings or a legislative session until a certain date and time. Recess is not to be confused with "adjournment," which winds up the proceedings.

Finally, the week long battle is over. My midterm exams ended today. Whew! Yes, it was a tiring week but it was exciting and fun. :D

Just a recap of the week that was:

Monday - This is supposed to be a holiday but we pursued on our Labor Relations exam. Umn. fairly ok.

Tuesday - Public International Law. Please read related blog.

Wednesday - International Trade Law class. Who ever imagined that in the middle of the midterm week we'll hold classes? O well... After class, Juris, Bar and I went to Starbucks Valero. Spent the night over and studied for Torts. Bar left at around 1 am. Juris and I stayed till almost six the following morning. We had Kiwi on phone patch for review. :D

Thursday - I crammed in memorizing Civil Code provisions. Wala naman lumabas. Hahaha! Torts and Damages exam consists of 5 questions, 20 points each.

Friday - The twin exam day--Ethics and Intellectual Property Rights. Good thing I memorized the lawyer's oath. 10 points guaranteed. Hehe! Towards the end of the day... my brain batt is getting drained. My IPL exam was a @&$*!?#@%. Water under the bridge.

Saturday - Finally, Civil Procedure. Tricky exam. I read the 8-item questionnaire over and over for more than 30 minutes and keep on figuring answers. I hope my remedies are correct. ;P

I refrained from post-game analysis huddles after every exam. I do not want to depress myself. Hehe!

After today's exam, Carlisle and I went to a mall. Ate and chatted for four long hours. Isn't that nice? Am having new friends. Hahaha! Rod picked me up at around 8.30. We had coffee and a slice of cake. Interestingly, the name of the cake is: In Between Seasons.

I have two days to rest from reading. I have two nights of complete sleep.

The training resumes next week. :D

today's morning prayer

Dear Lord,

Please grant me wisdom. Let her not depart me.

Let her envelope me that she may guide me to where I can find pure joy.

Let her be my light in times of confusion and

let her be my fortress in time of weakness.

Amen

right against self-incrimination, reserved

Disclaimer: This photo is a taken from a grafitti on a wall from starbucks valero. The message does not pertain to anything about the author or does not relate to anything in her life. It was merely a product of twistedness in the desire to be awake at the grim hours of the morning.

On a legal note: The right against self-incrimination cannot be invoked prior to questioning.It cannot be reserved nor be invoked on as a blanket of right. It is properly invoked upon question and before refusing to answer. The title is merely used for creativity.

right of existence and self-defense

Agression is the use of armed force by a State against the sovereignty, territorial integrity and political indepence of another State, or in any other manner inconsistent with the Charter of the United Nations, as set out in this definitions (U.N. General Assembly; 14 December 1974)

Every State has the inherent right to preserve and defend its existence by the use of forcible measure in the face of a necessity instant, overwhelming and leaving no choice of means and no moment of deliberation (Public International Law, Justice Isagani Cruz). In layman's language, a State is authorized to use force to combat an immediate force applied against it by another state.

If I were a state, I did not use my right. If it was a real war, my existence has ended. Hopefully not, though.

Last night, I had my exam in Public International Law. It was completely and insanely objective. Well, no point ranting about, but it was my first time EVER to meet an exam as objective and trivial as that in law school. Law school exams normally involves analysis and reasoning. I answered the 20-item exam, weighing five points each, with the best that my brain can sustain me and I passed the paper. :c I felt my professor's hostility. I walked out. It wasn't one of my brave moments of combating "agression". I just thought it wasn't gonna be a good fight after all. I didn't even tried to fight back with greater force to the horror of my extinction.

I am interested with International Law. So interested that I even want to become an envoy of the Philippines to different countries abroad. But I have to admit, I am really having a hard time coping with my professor's style of teaching. I was confiding this to one lawyer and all he did was stare at me. In his words: "Neng, psychological lang yan. Don't make excuses". Maybe he's right. At a certain degree, I am indimidated by one brilliant legal mind. Which by the truth is: I am a fan. :D

Starting today, I declare my love for International Law.

As I was nursing my battle wounds last night, two new friends were there: Bar and Juris, thanks. :D

i want to go to bora!

I have never been to Boracay. At my age and with my travelling feet, it may be a surprise. But yeah, I've never laid my back on its white sand or had ever played with its clear waters. I haven't experienced its night life (which according to most is fantastic. O well, as if I care. I don!'t enjoy loud music anyway).

My sole point here is: I want to go to Boracay.

photos courtesy of http://www.boracayisland.org/

Haay. Am tired. Maybe I just want to get away.

her sweet escape

The midterm hibernation coupled with the overcast skies and non-stop rain pulled her down. She was gloomy and no matter how much she'd want to hit her books, he just can't. Nothing sticks in her head anyway. This is not working right. She's already wasted hours to frustration.

As soon as darkness bit. she slipped into her jeans, put on the first shirt she got her hand to, donned her back with her knitted green jacket and off she went to the nearest cinema from her place. "This might do the trick.", she thought.

With paintless face, hair pulled back and thick spectacles, she checked the schedule. The movie had started. Four minutes past. It's fine with her. She bought herself a billet, walked into the dark room and found herself a seat for one. She chose a story about marriage, betrayal and reparation of wrong deeds. She cried. And she cried some more. It was good for her, at least the tension was out.

As the credits roll, she was beaming. She stayed a bit longer before walking out just so not to get cramped by the other moviegoers. As the lights hit her, she realized she was still smiling. "Hurrah! Am better now. I'll see my books in a bit.", she said to herself.

Before going home, she got herself some treats--two packs of her favorite chocolate candies, a bottle of creamer for coffee and a can of her favorite beer. Good stuff before hell week.

I think she's ready now.

highs and lows

If you have seen the film "The Story of Us" starring Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfieffer, my entry title will ring a bell. It is a game played by the couple (with their kids) at the end of each day, inquiring on their happiest moment(high) and the saddest events (low) during the day.

I particularly loved it because it is a fun way of cultivating intimacy in a relationship (in their case, their marriage and their family life). It basically sums the most important events for a person's life at least for that particular day. I saw the film back in early 2000 on VCD with my prayer partner Wena during one of our movie-marathons. And I remembered us playing that for quite a time, deliberately mentioning "HIGH" and "LOW". We've evolved. We no longer say those words. We just share stuffs spontaneously.

This afternoon I was finishing one of my midterms requirements for Labor Law with my friend Gen who was then studying for her Pedia Exam. In between our "autistic" moments, we in passingly chit-chatted about how we wanted our relationships with our future boyfriends (and later husbands) would be. Friendship. And I was reminded of HIghs and Lows.

For the sake of the post title, here's my high(s) and low for the day:

HIGH: Laughing non-stop for roughly 10 minutes as Gen recounts one of her "slipping" moments; Finishing my IRR just in time.

LOW: Remembering one of my pressing concerns. Good heavens, have mercy please.

**This entry is not one of my usual clear and concise posts. Quite evasive. Am not quite sure what my point is. I just want to share I remembered Highs and Lows (and all the stuff that goes with it that I do not want to share).

Bar Examinations 2007

The Bar Examinations is the first hurdle an aspiring lawyer must overcome to enter the Legal Profession. One must show competence in the knowledge of the law, and in what way will the Honorable Justices know this but through a grueling examination.

2007 Bar Examinations is coming in a few weeks. It will run through the four Sundays of September. The examinees will take two exams for each day, one in the morning and the second in the afternoon. This will cover eight subjects namely: Political Law and International Law, Labor Law, Civil Law, Taxation, Commercial Law, Criminal Law, Remedial Law, and Legal Ethics and Practical Exercises.

I have always looked forward to the Bar Exams and have wholeheartedly supported my seniors as they took it. I used to volunteer for the Bar Operations in my previous school. Well, plainly, it is helping them make their lives easier so as to lessen the pressure of taking an exam that would spell their future. They need all the support they can get in crucial moments as this. Also, it is some sort of juju that the good deed will come back when your time to take the Bar comes.

This coming Bar Examination is particularly special for me. Most of my batch mates during my first year in law school are now up for the challenge. These are the people I was with when we were all struggling in the dark to learn the ins and outs of law school. They are the ones whom I was with during sleepless reading marathons. We have dreamt to take the bar and later take the oath altogether. We even thought of signing our names next to each other in the Roll of Attorneys.

Yes, there is some pang of “regret” for not taking the Bar as I chartered it. But on second thought, I am fine. God has better plans. I realized it’s not how fast you get there, but how much you are actually prepared to take the Bar and later become a lawyer. It’s basically about preparation. I think my experiences in and out of law school have shaped me to be more apt to do my job well someday. Although, I should say there is still a long way to go. (In fact, I still have midterms exams to ace next week.)

To the Bar Examinees of 2007, all the best wishes. May the force be with you.

I’ll see you in court.

photo shoot

Am here to brag.

Jon took some pictures of me during the debut party of our twin cousins Tin and Trisha. The pictures were fantastic--taken like a pro! With little lighting (we only used the par lights in the garden and that of the balcony), he was able to get good shots of me. Posing for the cam is a welcome break for the midterms prep. Here are some of the photos:





You now convinced my brother has perspective?

self-talk

Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat. Remember the first time you read that maxim? Remember that smile on your face when you learned that such old Latin maxim literally means fortune favours the brave. Now, isn't that true enough?

Yes, that was coward. Yes, you allowed being unpopular eat you and let another opportunity pass you by. And yes, that was indeed stupid. 'Nuff for the self-blame. Regret all you want, sorely but it's all water under the bridge. Guess, you just have to learn to have more of that go-get-it attitude. Lesson learned: Never base your decisions on what other people would think or say, especially if the choice you're going to take is one which is important for YOU. Queber? You worked for it, and you deserve to fight for what you have toiled for. And you know you wanted it badly. It's not your fault that others are mediocre.

Don't Settle. Speak up. Fight. Be brave.

Lest you'll miss all the chances, they aren't unlimited. That you fear.

money sense

For most people to talk about money is obscene. It is like Harry Potter’s Chamber of Secrets that no one else dares to even whisper about it, lest you die. It is like engaging in an immoral activity which will cost you your soul for hell.

I am having a different view now. I believe—after a lot of thought correction—that money is neutral. It is neither good nor evil. It only depends on how we use it and how it influences our lives. Most of us think that money is evil and the rich are crooks. I have to admit that in as much as I wanted to earn I had that subconscious belief lingering somewhere in my head. I agree with what would Bo Sanchez say, “Money may not be the most important thing but all other areas of life are affected by it.” If I use money to love others, then it is good. Therefore, money is good. I now break free.

I’m a goal driven person. I only turning 25 and I am hoping to be financially stable before I actually settle down for family life. I want to provide myself with a nest either a house or a condo unit, drive my own car, own a business or two and have a hefty sum of money in the bank and other vehicles of investments.

I want this because fear the day that my future family will have to pull ends just to survive on a daily basis. Please do not mistake me for being materialistic. I just want to be financially independent with more than enough to share to others. I want quality of life because I believe I deserve it.

I dare now speak about money because I realize that I need the skills to handle it well. I dare now ask people who now about it so in time, I will be able to command money and maximize it to meet my needs and those of the people I love. I dare now explore how it works because I do not want to be ignorant and suffer the consequence of it. Worse, let my love ones suffer with me.

I have my own share of stories as regards handling finances. I failed a lot of times and I am still struggling to learn more. I am still a kindergarten in the University of Money, but I now stand in front of my school clutching my lunch box and ready to meet my teachers.

This is the beginning.

some sort of reunion

Last Saturday, Wena, Dang, Donnie, Nina and I were in Araneta for Don Moen's concert. It was fun listening to songs which practically ushered us in our faith journey. Kuya H and Tita Norma didn't make it though. It felt nice worshiping with the same people who were there at the start of it all. It was a night of faith: "God's answers to your prayers are on its way". Yey!

We capped the night with some chit chat over nachos with five layer dip and smothered french fries in Butter Diner. I loved it there. The ambience is so cool. I like the comic strip wallpaper. I love the company of my friends.

welcome, kalell

Paloy already gave birth!


I received a text message from Dang that on July 29, 10.30p Kalell was out! Yey!

Can't wait to see you little angel.ü

Ninang loves you. Mwah.

ramblings on public trains

I am a commuter.

Everyday of my life, I ride jitneys, tricycles, buses, FX and trains going around the metro. And thank God for the trains here in the Philippines! They made my life easier.

During my younger years, I do not like riding in trains. The smothering heat inside its cars makes me all sticky and smelly. Not to add the bodies that is all around you. It was as if a chemical reaction will happen that would set the trains to explode had everybody else stay a little longer than the whole trip duration. Riding trains in the Philippines back then is like subjecting yourself to torture and punishment being all cramped. Not to mention the threat of being picked-pocket. Well, I have to say that things have improved already. The trains are now air conditioned and several cars are provided solely for women, children and the senior citizens. Am not sure about the pickpockets but I do feel safer now compared before.

In every State an improved means of transportation is an indication of progress. There is a lot to improve for us, though.
___________________

Last Saturday on board the MRT on my way to Cubao, I took a seat in one of the train cars which is not exclusive for women. Meaning, there would be men in those cars. (Well, I was just too lazy to walk a little further down the station. Besides, I came from Taft station thus there are still more room in the cars.)

So, from Taft to Cubao obviously people started to fill the train cars to the brim--literally. I just realized that Filipinos do not care about boundaries. I mean, physical boundaries. It's alright for almost everyone to stand skin to skin with strangers. I didn't like it. I feel so unsafe as I stood up from my seat walking through the door and my body is touching all these people as I walk out.

I have been to several countries and I rode on their trains. (That is why, I was later convinced to ride on our trains) But I never encountered overpacked situations such as ours. It's culture so I believe.

But can't we at least respect space?
____________________

More on the previous observation.

Have we not realize that full-packed trains could mean overloading? Filipinos are never wary on these. From time to time our headlines would always bear news of sinking ships, buses turning turtle, and what have you because of accomodating passengers more than it's safe limit. In far flung provinces it is normal for people to squeeze human beings together with chickens and vegetables in every little space available in jitneys. Atop would be another roughly 20-30 people sitting under the sun and hoping to be transported alive to their destinations. It actually seems fun and practical, but is it safe? Think about it?

Under the law on transportation, common carriers are burdened with that extraordinary diligence in transporting persons and goods. This would include enough supervision on the number of passengers a certain vehicle must load for a certain trip. Apart from convenience and comfort of commuters, our transporation authority must first and foremost ensure safety. Check overloading, please.

On the other hand, I urge all Filipinos to look after ours as well. Don't squeeze in yourselves in our trains (or any transpo for that matter) just to get to some place.

Discipline.
______________

Walking out of train stations is also a feat. Filing for tickets is one as well, but getting out is more stressful.

I do not understand why most Filipinos don't know how to queue in line. There are those who will cut through or nonchalantly squeeze in. We are all in a hurry, people! Besides, getting out will be much faster should everyone find a more disciplined way of filing themselves in line.
______________

Til here, I still have to catch the train for school.

project hugs

Towards the end of next month, I will be marking the first quarter of my life in this world.

Yikes! Guess, am really becoming an adult and there is no turning back. Hehe! I like it though. The responsibilities may be quite overwhelming but I know I'll be fine. Am excited and at the same time quite scared.

I love birthdays! For me that is the best day ever--something made simply for you and you alone. And to celebrate this wonderful day, I thought of celebrating it with little angels. I am planning to go to a home of abandoned kids (babies), play with them and shower them with all the hugs and kisses I can give them. I already invited a few of my close friends and they signed in. I have yet to confirm with the home which date I can do this since I prefer it to fall on the weekend before my birthday.

Pray for me, guys that I get a slot.

I am excited. ;)

footprints

In our lives there are people who just pass by and some choose to stay. But whether they simply walked through or they decided to journey with us, they definitely leave indelible footprints which will forever remain.

To you: Hope this isn’t too much to say: Thank you for coming into my life. I am not sure if you are simply passing by or you’re going to stay, but real thanks for helping me decide to be fearless again lest be happy for I deserve it. Holding this happiness inside will keep me moving forward. Thank you. With all that had transpired I just want you to know that I was able to see the heart. May not have been perfect...but little as it is, you’ve done a lot.

this heart is ready to love again

Dear You,

It's been more than 18 months since you walked away and left me all messed up. I knew you would have wanted to escape unscathed but you were left with no other choice but to explain with those empty, silly words when I decided we need to have a face off. You knew I will never let you run away without it hearing from the horse's mouth. You crushed my heart and you tried to take away my faith. I just have to say you failed.

I have let you go. I have learned to love you less. In fact, I do not love you anymore. I have moved on. I have soared and the view from up here is fantastic--the skies, the trees, the flowers are all in a different hue; the birds are chirping and the wind is blowing cold. The people I've met are warm and caring. Yes, am happy with where I am right now. I think I did a good job of rebuilding my life without you.

Although sometimes the clouds still hover me and the temporary darkness illuminates your shadow. I hate it. You've really conquered my soul and I hate it. Your shadow reminds me of how much I've trusted and was betrayed; how I loved and was hurt. Your shadow can be crippling but I strived. And I have strived badly enough, I realize that I am now shining and I am shining bright to dispel your creeping darkness. Yes, I again possess this light you once put off. Yes, the same light that attracted you--even brighter.

Am completely free and I'm ready to love again.

from the other half of those two friends

I received a message from a friend, whom I believe I have shared in one of my entries.

Quoting part of it, he said: "Um, I know for some reason, our paths cross every time, but it ends up quiet after a while again."

I let a chuckle out as I read that line. Seriously, true. ;) I too can't explain why.

Hope you had a great birthday, dear.

kiddos

Today's high: Playing with kids.

This afternoon I played with four of my "pamangkins"--three nieces and a nephew. It is a surprise since these kids never really saw me in that light. I was always the nice-and-would-just-ask-you-how's-school-but-doesn't -play with-us tita. Yes, I was a playmate to them this afternoon. We played sorts of games. I created a game using the nursery rhyme "Little Sunny Water" and they love it. Well, I loved it too. I love hearing them sing the song on their own. I loved it when they were trying to cheat by peeking but still cannot lie that they were cheating. Such innocence! They have to beg on us playing it over and over, which is alright with me. Talk about persistence.

What I loved most is playing "Touch Ball" with them. They are so having the fun of their lives while they try no to be hit by the ball and with all their might throw the ball to their "opponent" with all hopes of getting a point. Beat this: I am even carrying my 3 year-old nephew while running to and fro, whist I allow him to throw the ball to our "opponents". It was tiring. It made me sweat A LOT! My "old" body is telling me to rest but my playmates are just overflowing with energy! I just loved it. I love hearing the kids call my name. I love them laugh. I love them shrill in excitement. I just loved the whole time I spent with them. It was fun. Hmn... I am loving kids!

That's good.

may we finish well

Nothing beats this kind of friendship.

I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are definitely God’s wonderful gift to me. I will tirelessly declare that, perhaps, for the rest of my life here on earth (and until we reach heaven). Through the years, we’ve grown—older and I think, better. I will always look forward to every conversation we share. We’ve known each other inside and out. Thank you for journeying with me, through rough and smooth roads; through tears and laughter; through every season there is. You've always taken care of me and I promise I'll do my best to do the same. Thanks for keeping our friendship sacred.

As we always wish each other: May we finish well. Yes, we will finish well.

Love you always and always… =)

my preacher in blue jeans

Today, one of my mentors is celebrating his birthday--Bo Sanchez.

My faith walk is greatly affected by Bo. It wasn't a breeze but for almost 10 years now, he has faithfulness to his mission, had definitely blessed me. I know the Jesus I now know because of him. He helped me experience a more loving and forgiving God. He shattered my crooked beliefs, he made me see things from a new perspective. He was my "kuya" in this faith journey. He has just inspired me more than anyone could have ever imagined.

Bo, as always, thank you for allowing God to use you to touch people's lives. Thank you for opening your self up to God's love so that others will be blessed as well. It rubbed off me, really. =) Thank you for ministering me through your books and teachings. I will always apprciate your letters too (and the gift for my last birthday! hehe). Thanks for being a friend. I am so blessed. May He continually bless you, Marowe, Bene and Francis. More years to come.

a cloud is passing through

I am not my usual self lately.
I don't like being sad.
I hate the feeling of being nasty.
It doesn't feel nice pushing people away. Especially when you need to do it.
I'd rather sing and dance and laugh and talk about the beauty of life than sulk.
But sometimes, one is not left with a choice.
Emotions come...and they too shall go.
Hopefully, soon...

my ounce of faith

The Lord must love me so much to allow me to go through so much in life and learn from it.
I must be too special in His eyes that He refuses to give me second-class.

Yeah, i really think so.

But sometimes, it's just so difficult to wait for His time to come. It can be lonely too.

Oh God, I love you more than enough to endure all these...knowing at the end of these tests I'm getting my two marshmallows and one big, sweet choco candy.

Hug me please just to remind me you're with me through all these...please.

life is not a race but a journey - jnsoriano

My professor in Civil Procedure is also a columnist in one of the daily papers in the metro. I loved what he said in this one.


NOTE VERBALE
By Jaime N. Soriano

Life is not a race but a journey

Many people treat life as a race. And depending on the individual motivation or personal ambition, it could be a race for fortune, a race for fame, a race for excellence, or a race for affection or a combination of any of these.
The truth is, in every race there will always be someone who would get to the finish line ahead of the pack. And they are very few. Someone will always run faster, climb higher or fly farther. Certainly, it takes a lot of determination and great personal to be on top because not every one could take the limelight or be number one all at the same time. That spot belongs to the fittest.

And the irony of it all is that some people who made it first in the race would just eventually find out for themselves that after all it is still lonely to be at the top, most especially if along the way the winner either purposely forget that there are other more important things in life than the race itself or take a scheming or shrewd advantage of other people, situation and events utterly disregarding the basic rules of decency, compassion and humanity. In this sense, victory is not always sweet, many times it is bitter.

But it does not mean that a person should take a back seat and stop working on his or her dreams. Every individual is endowed with the gift of opportunity to finish the race regardless how far or how lowly is his or her starting line. The fact that someone will always be better or that it is lonely at the top is not an excuse to quit or get laid back.
Every person who dreams of success in their pre-determined endeavors, big or small, should find encouragement, inspiration and motivation from those who achieved ahead their own dreams with flying colors.

Perhaps the better way to treat life is to treat it as a journey. It should not be a matter of who finishes the race first. It should not even be a matter whether the person finishes the race or not. It does not also matter much who is good, better or best particularly if the person makes other people lose just to win.

Treating life as journey should mean making a good difference in the lives of other people along the way towards the finish line. Life is more meaningful for the person if he or she consciously helps other people succeed and not when he or she make others fail or fall to achieve his or her own success. Personal victory is measured not when the individual tells other people that he or she did but when other people say he or she does.

Making a good difference in the lives of others means taking good care of all those people who are part of the journey. In the process, these people would give back the same amount care, support and concern, and more often than not, much more. Feel proud of their achievements and they would also share the same pride because everyone becomes part of each one success.

If life then should be treated as a race, let it be a contest of how others can make others succeed.
Real heroes and champions are never born. They are made by the unsung heroes and the unknown champions who lived and traveled with them in the course of their lives because they too felt that their heroes and champions also took care of them along the way.

Making a good difference in the lives of others therefore also means making a good difference in one’s own life.
Unfortunately, people tend to disregard others and even oneself in a race. But in a journey, there is much time to be significant and meaningful in this fast pace world.

steven curtis chapman live in manila

I can't wait till it's Saturday. =) I will be seeing Steven Curtis Chapman perform live again!

For most people who doesn't know, Steven is the composer/singer of the hit "I Will Be Here". (No guys, it isn't a Gary V. song...Sorry!) He is a contemporary Christian musician and he won five Grammy's already. How is that? =)

I first time I saw him perform was last year in a concert organized by FISH Magazine (thanks to George. Hehe.) I loved him from then and of course the songs! Steven loves to tell stories behind his compositions while performing which i guess puts more meaning for the songs when heard again. My personal favorites are "King of the Jungle", "When Love Takes You In" and "I Believe in You". But my current favorite is "Fingerprints". Been listening to this for almost a month now and I am so addicted to it. Hahaha!

Can't wait... =)

fingerprints

I can see the tears filling Your eyes
And I know where they're coming from
They're coming from a heart that's broken in two
By what you don't see
The person in the mirror
Doesn't look like the magazine
Oh, but when I look at you it's clear to me that

I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by God's hand
And perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what He's been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living breathing priceless work of art and

I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Just look at you
You're a wonder in the making
Oh, and God's not through, no
In fact, He's just getting started and

I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God
You are covered with the fingerprints of God

whew!

I am wounded, perhaps burnt by embolismic expectations from my family, friends and other relationships. Perhpas, I am tired of trying to be the best. But when I come to think that I want to become a lawyer, it eliminates my frustrations. - Justice George A. Malcolm, Associate Justice, Supreme Court of the Philippines

two friends

Sometimes you'll just get to wonder why there are relationships that just can't move from one kind to another.

Sometimes, it's more than incompatibility.

And sometimes, it's not a matter of not telling the person how much you've felt or your intention of transforming it from friendship to something else.

It just feels like there something is holding you from taking that step to cross the line. Or atleast entertain the thought of crossing that line. Fear maybe--that you simply content yourselves with what is available instead of taking the risk of losing it altogether. Fear to later find out that you weren't really meant to share a love relationship and simply end up breaking the heart of a friend.

Or perhaps it's the familiarity that two good friends share throughout almost a decade of friendship and care.

We connect too much on the gut level that we both know we can't force it.

Perhaps, we're really better off like this.

fortune photos

My brother has perspective.

I was checking my multiply account when I came across these uploaded pictures taken by my brother for UST's brochures, posters, and whatever have you. More than nostalgia seeing UST's buildings, I was filled with pride for Jon's talent. And he has a lot more.

I am a proud ate. =)

from daddy's little (grown-up) girl

If there would be one person in my life that I rarely talk about, it is my papa. Ironically, he's one person who occupies a big chunk of my heart.

Perhaps, through the years as I was growing up, I've learned too accustomed to a "no dad" at home. For 13 years since I was nine, my father was away. He was an Overseas Filipino Worker in London. He works in one of the posh hotels there. He has already learned to speak like the Brit, or else , according to him, they won't understand. =) He was a very good provider and kiddingly according to my mother, he loves his kids more than he loves his wife. At the best he could, he was doing "remote parenting".

Needless to say, I am my dad's favorite. I knew it eversince. Or perhaps, I was just lucky enough to have spent the most time with him as compared to my siblings. For nearly half of my life the memories I have were with Papa. He was the one who was rearing me when I was a young girl. We were together for 2 years or so in the province when he thought of putting up a poultry. He taught me how to read, to cook chicken egg by simply putting it on top of steaming rice,and pray before going to sleep. He was the one who patiently takes care of me whenever I would be sick. I hate having a fever when I was younger since I always get nightmares, but each time I would wake up, I would see Papa beside me and I would be fine just snuggling closer. I learned to enjoy the bookstore beacuse of him. Sometimes we'd sneak from mom to visit a bookstore where he'll read and read, while I attempt to read and later play. (I now can stay in the bookstore to read and read, hehe) He knows how I look forward spending Sundays with him. We'd go to a zoo, a park or just stay home and he'll prepare a feast.

However, sometimes when life's realities start to bite, decisions although tough are needed to be made. In the years my Papa was away, yes, a void was created and left at that. But no matter how much the pain may have been for spending a long time without him physically, I know that our love is much more enormous and powerful to redeem the hurt.

They say that the bond between a father and the daughter is special. I believe so. There is just such this understanding that only the hearts learn; a language that only the two of them speaks even without words.

Pop, Happy Birthday and Happy Father's Day too. I owe you a lot. =) I love you more than words can say. Get well soon and take good care of you.

Hugs. Tighter hugs. Mwah.

fortuitous event

Fortuitous event - an event which cannot be foresen, although foreseen is inevitable (Article 1174, New Civil Code of the Phlippines)

The clock reads 4:20. It was a warm, humid Thursday afternoon and I am rushing for the first meeting in my Torts and Damages class at 4:30. I went up the second floor of Claro M. Recto building to check my room assignment.

"104. Ok, downstairs."

Then I saw a notice which contained my course title, professor's name and ASSIGNMENT: first page of the outline. At the lower right side portion was the date of the immediately preceding day written in blue ink.

"Whew! He is not coming to class!" I went to the Dean's office and asked for the attendance sheet, when the clerk said: "Andito si sir."

Whhhaattt!

Does that mean that assignment is for today's class? On the first meeting?! My head began to panic. My clock reads: 4:25. How could that be? Did I miss that notice last night? I was here for my International Law class and I was sure I wasn't able to see that bill. I have no time to argue with the Dean's office. So, I rushed to my assigned classroom and asked my classmates about the outline. Most of them said they just learned about it only on the same day. And in a split of second, a tall, buffy guy in white polo shirt entered the room. He's here!

He took his place on the platform and started calling the roll. Lucky for me, my seatmate is nice to lend me her photocopy of the outline. While waiting for my turn to be called, as he still asks personal details (perhaps to get to associate us with certain facts), I was reading through the paper in front of me and remembers as much as my brain can.

Then we saw him held the outline. Anxiety started to spread among us. "Sh*t! His up for recitation!" A few of my classmates were called, most sat down with no answers to my professor's query.

To cut the long story short, I was called for recitation. Waahhhh!

Part of law school's training is recitation. No law school is without it. It's the Socratic approach of learning where the professor asks pertinent (sometimes impertinent) questions to check what the student knows and to train them think on their toes.

This is something I missed for the past almost 2 years, but to be caught unprepared is a different story altogether.

I was standing there for almost 10 minutes, trying to gather my thoughts, compose my self, deliver my answers to the professor and wishing he'd ask me questions with which I have answers. The first few minutes or so was manageable. I have answers to his questions which I suppose are correct as he picks up the discussions from there. I can feel his excitement thinking I studied. My head is screaming: "No, sir, you are getting the wrong impression here. I do not know anything."

There is a rule we law students adhere during recitations: Less talk, less mistakes. But in this case, I cannot. If I do not talk I won't get a grade. Then, he asked me to discuss a case which I can only relatively remember from my previous subjects. It's about a driver of an automobile hitting a pony causing the rider to be thrown away, thus entitling him for damages. But I was mixing the facts of the case. God, I am incriminating my self.

"Miss De Chavez, did you read the case?"

"Previously, sir."

"Previously. Hmn...How about recently?"

"No, sir". My mind is screaming: "How could I?! I just saw this freaking outline just as you came in this freaking classroom!"

I can exercise my right to be heard (which I did when he asked why). But in law school recits, there is no such thing as a valid excuse. They are all the same bananas--EXCUSES. Dura lex sed lex. The law may be harsh but it is still the law. In law school, no one is invincible.

Just when you least expect it. Murphy's law perhaps. What a luck (or badluck)! Whatever you call it. I hope I got an equitable mark for that very embarassing moment. Nothing to rant about really, been through this several times. But I guess, I have to get the hang of it again. My fortuitous event for my first semester as of my return to law school.

I hope that never happens again. Sigh.

hypercritical

I am my worst critic. Couple it with becoming semi-perfectionist. Aarrgh! Not a very good combo.
But I am learning to be kind to myself now, with the belief that I deserve less spanking especially from me. =)

on the eve of day one

I was reading through my abandoned Friendster Blog and I a came across an entry I wrote more than a year ago. It reads:

My Friendster Horoscope for today (tonight) reads:

"The Bottom Line
It took a while, but finally all your hard work has paid off. A long calm is coming.

In Detail
It's human nature to dream, and to at least try to make those dreams come true before we're done with our time here on Planet Number Three. Your chance to turn one of your dreams into a goal and to tackle that goal with your usual meticulous attention has now officially arrived -- and if you're dealing with the department of long-distance travel, higher education or spiritual quests, you'll have all the heavenly help you could ever ask for to get the show on the road. Go for it."

If this must be true, thank God. (I don't intend to be blasphemous.) I just hope things will start working for me. As the adage says: After every rain comes a rainbow.

I just find it funny that I would like to believe that this fortune statement blah blah should be for today. Perhaps, I am just thrilled by the fact that first day of school year 07-08 starts tomorrow. Nothing really big, but it just actually feels weird actually going back to school AGAIN. ;) My summer class was a warm up, though. But the real battle commences tomorrow. I do not want to hype it, but I just want to say, I am looking forward to it. =) Go for it school girl...Hehe! Wish me luck, everyone.

french film festival

I am a sucker for foreign films especially during film festivals. Whenever I get the chance to watch one, I grab it at once. I see this as a glimpse in the host country's culture culture and it's fun. =)

The French Embassy in the Philippines and Alliance Française de Manille organized the 12th French Film Festival which will run from 07-17 June at Shangri-la Plaza in Ortigas. This year's festival is paying tribute to Philippine cinema by the projection of Filipino films such as "Putot" by Jeck Cogama which was included in the official selection of the Clermont-Ferrand Short Film Festival, as well as "Kaleido" by the director Brillante Mendoza, the Filipino representative in the Directors’ Fortnight of the Cannes Film Festival 2007.

Please find the sched below. For more details log on to http://alliance.ph.

Come and let us celebrate culture...



List of Films:

Movie 1: Arthur and the Invisibles by Luc Besson
Movie 2: Fair Play by Lionel Bailliu
Movie 3: Gamblers by Frederic Balekdjan
Movie 4: March of the Penguins by Luc Jacuet
Movie 5: Not Here to be Loved by Shepone Brize
Movie 6: OSS 117 by Michel Hazanavicius
Movie 7: Sequins
Movie 8: The Ax
Movie 9: The Little Lieutenant by Xavier Beauvois
Movie 10: The Perfume: Story of a Murderer
Filipino Movie: Manoro by Brillante Mendoza, Kaleido by Brillante Mendossa, Putot by Emmanuel Cogoma

postscript

I received the article below from my climbing buddy, Ditas. It is a post election message from Martin Bautista, a senatorial bet from Ang Kapatiran. She wrote: "Hopefully our new public officials, elected whether by legitimate or unscrupulous means, would learn what the real essence of public service is all about. And may this serve as a lesson to all Filipinos."

The election is over. It is time to examine, and to both skeptics and sympathizers alike, explain my participation in it.

I gave up a flourishing medical practice in America, joined Kapatiran and ran for the Senate because I wanted not merely to prove a point, but to live by it.

And the point is this: we can change our country, help our people, not by talking or theorizing but by actually doing something about it. One cannot simply make a statement. He must apply it in his life, by example, by involvement, by action. Our political campaign was such a statement.

Did we succeed? We did not get enough votes for a seat in the senate. But we did get the attention of the electorate and, more importantly, we made people aware of alternative solutions, better political options.

We demonstrated that it is possible to conduct an open, honest, vigorous campaign on programs, not personalities.

We showed that there is no need for false promises, political gimmickry, immoderate spending; but that there is a need for continuing communication, defending and justifying our positions and priorities.

Our fundamental premise is this: Politics is not a means of livelihood. It is not an economic investment that will pay off in future material gain. Politics is a way of giving, of sharing, of helping. It is not soliciting support but providing it. It is not about rendering service in the senate when elected, but rendering service now, in the present, in this time and place, in one's capacity as a candidate, a citizen, a Filipino of compassion.

If we have, even in a small, tentative way, we have redefined politics in the Philippines, then we have been fully recompensed for our efforts. The accomplishments of our greatest heroes cannot be judged in the simplistic terms of triumph or defeat. Like Burgos, Gomez and Zamora, the Kapatiran candidates won no instant victory. But they achieved a beginning, advanced the cause for reform, and awakened a hope that such reform is possible.

A personal note of accountability. We received donations from many sectors of society. Added to our own private contribution to the campaign, the total amount exceeded our modest campaign expenses. The balance we shall turn over to Gawad Kalinga in accordance with our conviction that politics is not an enterprise for profit.

Finally I wish to extend my sincere appreciation to all the men and women of goodwill who stand with us in the common belief in a Filipino future. "Maraming salamat sa inyong lahat"

focus on your dreams

"Hi there! Classes are starting June 9.", the text message from my classmate in Legal Forms read. I just learned over lunch that school is starting this Saturday. All this time, I am actually expecting it's going to be next week. Well, guess it's a way of cutting short my anticipation for it. Hehe! I am raving about going back to school though I have a packed full-week schedule. It's gonna be tough but surely its going to be fun as well.

I can hear myself: "Another sem closer to the dream..." This statement thrills me, tell you. It's sending chills down my spine just like when I first entered law school. That statement seems like prophecy and so I want to believe. =)

During my time off, I have been of course, resting and at the same time preparing myself for the demands of law school altogether. In one of the many conversations I had with myself, I remember advising me: "Faith, focus. Just focus, that will spell the difference. Patience and perseverance are a given, but most importantly FOCUS."

For the past two months, after I left Philam and realized how it actually felt to not receive a paycheck every end of the month, I started sending out resumes to A LOT of companies and law firms with the prayer that I get employed by any of them. Some replied. Some scheduled me for interview. I thought I'd gonna be hired by a couple of them. Bottom line: None of them hired me.

I never had any problems with getting a job or bumping into opportunities. I am confident of my qualifications and skills but for one reason or another, I end up not getting the job offers. I let the blow pass perhaps because I take these as practical signs that I am made for something else. That am actually entering a season of preparation for the real thing. =) I take these turnout of events as God's answers to my long time prayer of becoming a lawyer. Guess, it's a way of telling me to focus on what is important this time.

Paulo Coelho perfectly worded it in his novel, The Alchemist: "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." The irony of not getting something is actually getting what you've always wanted.

i've got a crush on you

Yes. He's Michael Scofield of Prison Break. Wentworth Miller offscreen. The first time I saw him on Suspense Channel, he caught my attention. I rarely have crush on people and tell you it sticks. Yay! =) Am having butterflies in my stomach. Yiheee....

it's all about love

In one of Bo Sanchez's talks in The Feast, he talked about the three God-given desires: 1) the desire to live (the desire for protection, provision, survival), 2) the desire to be loved (need to be accepted, loved and that sense of belonging) and 3) the desire to love (the need for a purpose).

In illustrating the second desire further, he said that in case such desire is not fulfilled or not fully met, people tend to look for that love elsewhere. When people who are supposed to give that love are still unavailable, oftentimes, we turn to subtitutes which are not healthy for our emotional well-being. This may come in unlimited forms--drugs, smoking, liquor, sex, shopping, etc. These things serve as an anesthesia for the gaping pain inside--a form of escape. Worse, it may even lead to addiction.

Unfortunately, each of us is attached to one thing or another in order to survive the malnutrition of our hearts. We all miss the point that we are hoping on something that is but a temporary. The good news, however, is that we can get free and be really happy and whole.

It's all about love.

We bend on the fleeting things because of the scarcity of love in our lives, perhaps from our imperfect parents, our abrasive brothers and sister, our critical friends, or just whoever have came past our lives that has hurt us. To cure this, let us learn to fill our lives with healthy, good quality love. Receive the love from the people around us who truly care. Give yourself the permission to love yourself. And most of all open yourself up in the bounty of God's immense love.

I figured it out: It's really all about love.

Maybe, just maybe, when we realized this, we will all be whole and the world will be a better place to live in. =)

reaching the end of the rope

Have you ever felt that feeling when you seemed to have actually let go? When you have finally succumbed to fate? When you are at peace with yourself knowing that whatever happens, things are just gonna work out for the good?

Liberating, isn't it? =)