There is glory in agony

I went through my blog and have read a number of entries talking about my law school life, the bar exams and my ardent desire to become a lawyer. I guess, it is really something that my inner self has always cried for. Unfortunately, two attempts didn't prove my efforts to be enough to have my name listed in the Roll of Attorneys. Truth be told, I am getting discouraged and weary. The journey of getting my four-letter title is getting too long and arduous. But I guess this proves that the measure of how much one wants something is the inextinguishable desire to stand up after every fall and the resilience to do whatever it takes just so to reach the goal.

A conversation I recently had with my mom revealed much wisdom to my seeming mishaps. She said, "Wag kang panghinaan ng loob. Tingnan mo na lang ang mga pagsubok na ito na paraan ng Diyos na ipakita sa’yo ang mga bagay na kailangan mong baguhin. Makikita mo, lalabas din ang kalooban ng Diyos sa buhay mo. Alam ko kapag nakalagpas ka dito, mabubuhay ka na sa tunay na success.” (Do not be discouraged. Look at these obstacles as God's way of revealing your weaknesses--things you need to work on. By that, you'll realize the deeper purpose of your life. I know that after you get past this, you'll burst into your way to true success). I have been hearing these words faintly in my heart, but my mom spoke it exactly as I needed to hear. Her words were like a gentle blow of wind that fired my frightened spirit. Isn’t it wonderful how God created parents to really support and guide? In these very rare occasions, I heard my mom speak and her words brought much peace in me. 

For the first time in prayer, I thanked God for the trial and suffering while I was going through it. Normally, I will thank him after, when I have finally got the lesson that the trial wanted to teach me. It’s different now, perhaps, because of the grace of faith that things will surely be better after this. Now, I see glory in agony. My journey to months of toiling for the Bar is beginning once again. With renewed hope, I will embrace each day with extra ounces of commitment, responsibility and passion. For whatever is in store at the end of this road, I open myself to the surprise that awaits—and for whatever it may be, I will wholeheartedly accept.