oc-oc

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an illness that causes people to have unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and to repeat certain behaviors (compulsions) over and over again. We all have habits and routines in our daily lives, such as brushing our teeth before bed. However, for people with OCD, patterns of behavior get in the way of their daily lives.

Most people with OCD know that their obsessions and compulsions make no sense but they can't ignore or stop them. Common obsessions include fear of dirt or germs and worry that a task has been done poorly, even when the person knows this is not true. While common compulsions include cleaning and grooming, such as washing hands, showering or brushing teeth over and over again and ordering and arranging items in certain ways. (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: What It Is and How to Treat It )

I have my own kicks of obsession-compulsion which I am learning to outgrow bit by bit.

I arrange my shirts by color. I have separate purses/pouch bags for my pens (a.k.a school supplies. I have a stapler, staple wire, scissors, post it pads, highlighters, etc. in it), my kikay stuff, my coins, my contact lens paraphernalia. Check my bag. It is full of pouches and that is the reason why I carry a BIG bag all the time. My paper bills in my wallet are arranged according to denomination. And the cards and ID's are arranged according to use. My monthly bills are filed according to their kind, by date having the latest on top. They are placed in separately color coded folders with plastic fasteners with the same color.ü Whenever I study, I have to lay down my pens at a certain angle diagonal to the book am reading. (I remember Juris laughing at me whenever I do this.)

But one thing that I have noticed that I am OC about is whenever I write. I have the tendency to dwell on the details and make sure that everythings else is perfect. This will range from the the grammar to the margins (or in some cases, lay-out). I read every portion part by part, over and over. Then I edit if I see something is missing or I feel that I should have expounded on an area or i'll delete a paragraph or sentence. I make sure that what I write is sensible and almost perfect. Whenever I catch myself doing this nitty-gritty thing, I start hating myself for not being able to let go of it. It is so time consuming and I find it's less productive. Sometimes, I succeed in letting go, but oftentimes I give in. But tell you, the relief and satisfaction afterwards is incomparable!

I guess, my OC-ness is a manifestation of all the other anxieties that should be directed in the other areas of my life.

And I think that this is genetic... My mom is OC too. Suuper OC to the hilt.