focus on your dreams

"Hi there! Classes are starting June 9.", the text message from my classmate in Legal Forms read. I just learned over lunch that school is starting this Saturday. All this time, I am actually expecting it's going to be next week. Well, guess it's a way of cutting short my anticipation for it. Hehe! I am raving about going back to school though I have a packed full-week schedule. It's gonna be tough but surely its going to be fun as well.

I can hear myself: "Another sem closer to the dream..." This statement thrills me, tell you. It's sending chills down my spine just like when I first entered law school. That statement seems like prophecy and so I want to believe. =)

During my time off, I have been of course, resting and at the same time preparing myself for the demands of law school altogether. In one of the many conversations I had with myself, I remember advising me: "Faith, focus. Just focus, that will spell the difference. Patience and perseverance are a given, but most importantly FOCUS."

For the past two months, after I left Philam and realized how it actually felt to not receive a paycheck every end of the month, I started sending out resumes to A LOT of companies and law firms with the prayer that I get employed by any of them. Some replied. Some scheduled me for interview. I thought I'd gonna be hired by a couple of them. Bottom line: None of them hired me.

I never had any problems with getting a job or bumping into opportunities. I am confident of my qualifications and skills but for one reason or another, I end up not getting the job offers. I let the blow pass perhaps because I take these as practical signs that I am made for something else. That am actually entering a season of preparation for the real thing. =) I take these turnout of events as God's answers to my long time prayer of becoming a lawyer. Guess, it's a way of telling me to focus on what is important this time.

Paulo Coelho perfectly worded it in his novel, The Alchemist: "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." The irony of not getting something is actually getting what you've always wanted.

i've got a crush on you

Yes. He's Michael Scofield of Prison Break. Wentworth Miller offscreen. The first time I saw him on Suspense Channel, he caught my attention. I rarely have crush on people and tell you it sticks. Yay! =) Am having butterflies in my stomach. Yiheee....

it's all about love

In one of Bo Sanchez's talks in The Feast, he talked about the three God-given desires: 1) the desire to live (the desire for protection, provision, survival), 2) the desire to be loved (need to be accepted, loved and that sense of belonging) and 3) the desire to love (the need for a purpose).

In illustrating the second desire further, he said that in case such desire is not fulfilled or not fully met, people tend to look for that love elsewhere. When people who are supposed to give that love are still unavailable, oftentimes, we turn to subtitutes which are not healthy for our emotional well-being. This may come in unlimited forms--drugs, smoking, liquor, sex, shopping, etc. These things serve as an anesthesia for the gaping pain inside--a form of escape. Worse, it may even lead to addiction.

Unfortunately, each of us is attached to one thing or another in order to survive the malnutrition of our hearts. We all miss the point that we are hoping on something that is but a temporary. The good news, however, is that we can get free and be really happy and whole.

It's all about love.

We bend on the fleeting things because of the scarcity of love in our lives, perhaps from our imperfect parents, our abrasive brothers and sister, our critical friends, or just whoever have came past our lives that has hurt us. To cure this, let us learn to fill our lives with healthy, good quality love. Receive the love from the people around us who truly care. Give yourself the permission to love yourself. And most of all open yourself up in the bounty of God's immense love.

I figured it out: It's really all about love.

Maybe, just maybe, when we realized this, we will all be whole and the world will be a better place to live in. =)

reaching the end of the rope

Have you ever felt that feeling when you seemed to have actually let go? When you have finally succumbed to fate? When you are at peace with yourself knowing that whatever happens, things are just gonna work out for the good?

Liberating, isn't it? =)

...

Writing has always been a passion.
But sometimes words can be elusive.

shrek the third

shifting sand

Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I'm feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they're so mysterious

And like a consumer I've been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure

(Chorus)
My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I've begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leperous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I've seen so much
I explained it away

Chorus

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It'd been there all the time

(Chorus repeated)
Stand on grace

i casted my ballot

Yes, I exercised my right of suffrage.

Most of the people I know did not even bothered going to the polling precints to exercise their rights to vote. I am not sure if they are just nonchalant or they have just grown to be completely frustrated with the Philippine political system. I am saddened about this truth.

Yes, I do too abhor the filth of Philippine politics. I hate hypocrisy, betrayal and the ruthless taking advantage the people whom we have entrusted our country’s affairs to. I may have lost faith on this people, but my faith in Democracy is still alive. Being a citizen of a Democratic country, I am aware of the power of my ballot. By casting my ballot, I am exercising my power to change the people in government which will eventually change my future and that of my children and grandchildren. Yes, the choices may be limited, but we still have choices. The gamut of problems we face today have grown overtime and we cannot provide a solution for it overnight. We simply have to inject a little change here and there, and soon Philippines will be fine.

The right of suffrage is an attribute of sovereignty which resides in the people and entitles them to have a direct participation in government. Most people fail to recognize that in Democracy it is the people who can actually dictate the affairs of its government. It is us who will create the future of our country. We only have to discern wisely who are worthy enough to lend our rights to and govern the affairs of the nation. Spiderman puts it very well: “With great power, comes great responsibility”. The power of shaping the course of our mother land is in our hands, our responsibility is putting the people we think have the heart to serve and redeem our country from the pits of shame and poverty. If we think the choices are not good enough, then let us simply not write their names in our ballots, but at least we safeguarded our rights against those who intend to use them for selfish reasons.

If in any case, we made a mistake in our choices, we too have the power to remove them in office. We have successfully done that through the years—ejecting the Spaniards, the Americans, the Japanese, Ferdinand Marcos, and even Joseph Estrada. The power to choose includes the power to remove. We are powerful beyond our imaginations, my countrymen. I don't mean whimsical replacement, but that which is wise and careful--just as we have chosen.

The indelible ink on my forefinger signifies the indelible mark of my being a Filipino.

Filipinos, let us take charge. Let us claim our sovereignty. Let us claim our rights to meddle in the affairs of our society. Let play part rather than relentlessly complain.

text message

" If people can't accept you at your worst,
then they don 't deserve you at your best"

from meredith grey

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."

- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

I agree. =)

heart matters

I am still elated from spending a night out with a special friend. I know that the feeling will later subside, but I will definitely keep it in my heart.

Sometimes, the things wish for does not seem to come. However, life can surprise us with little things that we have not really asked for. Those little things that are sweet and mean a lot.

I think I have learned the importance of living a moment. I think bit by bit I am learning to appreciate things simply as they come. Besides, life never gave guarantees. We are only left to hope that life will be good to us. Hope, yet do not expect.

someone to watch over me

There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who'll watch over me

He may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

my idea of heaven

I'll wait for the day I'll sing this. I'll wait for that person to whom i'll sing it to.
Maybe, on my wedding day...Why not,eh? :) (Did I just say that?..Ahmp!)

You (yes,you!), come find me.
Dare. I might just dare back.

obiter dictum

Obiter Dictum - Latin for a statement "said by the way"; a remark or observation made by a judge that, although included in the body of the court's opinion, does not form a necessary part of the court's decision.

Earlier tonight I had my first "actual" class in Torts and Damages. When I said "actual" class, it meant a normal class meeting for law students where their professors terrorize them with lots of questions, quizzing into what they have read and understand about the subject matter discussed. Once one's name is called for individual recitation, he or she is expected to answer them fairly, if not excellently. For a law student this phenomena may cause heart palpitations, occassional irregular heartbeats, increase in blood pressure, panic, hyperventilation, nausea and the like. ( I am exaggerating on some of those...Hehe) Immunization doesn't seem to be possible but frequent exposure can lessen the abovementioned side effects. I agree with this system though. It is as a gauge of how one has understood the subject matter and more importantly, through this one develops the skill to think on his/her toes and express her thoughts clearly. It likewise forces the student to study. Personally, the feeling can became very addictive. It hit me...tell you!

Well, that isn't really my topic for my blog. I am actually living by my title tonight. Hehe.

During the later part of the meeting, my professor started discussing the bar exams and the preparations for it. It was way off the discussion on negligence and proximate causes. But it was something I welcomed. Yes, we're still quite afar from finishing our JD degree but I agree when he said that bar preparations actually start the moment you first step on the portals of your law school. It's a long tedious process of reaching a dream. I was actually inspired on how he seemed to be very passionate about seeing, much more believing that we too can cross the bridge. He reminded us about focus and how to watch out for the pitfalls. He expounded that one earns his place in the roll of attorneys by hard work and God's grace and mercy. I understand these more than anything, since I had my shareof lessons on it. However, it is good to be reminded every now and then. :)

Perhaps the bar fever is still high since the list of new lawyers have just been recently released by the Supreme Court. Congratulations, new lawyers. I look up to you. Or also this is because the graduates of Batch 2007 are starting their review classes in preparation for the Bar Exams on September. (Good luck, guys!)

Bar and Torts may be off beat. However, just like in several decisions of the courts, discussions which may actually seem to be irrelevant to your case at hand, may actually illustrate and pin a point.

Sir, your obiter did. :)

missing the mountains

Scaling mountains is a feat but I love it, tell you! The last time I was atop one was more than a year. I usually take this time to reflect as I take each step up.

Haayy... I wonder when will I get to climb another grand land mass.

mt.pulag, benguet; feb 2006

atop mt. pulag @ around 7a

mt. batulao, batangas; january 2006

first day high

I just came from my first class for summer. Am back in law school! Yahoo! This is definitely thrilling me. I know it's gonna be hard as always but I every day that pass brings me closer to my dream.

I pray that for wisom and discipline. I know with that plus tons of hard work, I will get through.

Can't wait to work on my case digests...Hehe! (",)

excited divers goofing at starbux

faith walk

Today is Good Friday. As Catholics, we observed the remembrance of the Death of Jesus on the cross as His loving act of saving the whole mankind from sin. This is the greatest expression of God’s love showing each human person that He is willing to do anything even meet death for His love for each of us.

Yearly, I take this opportunity to have my personal retreat. I take some quiet time to reflect on where I am in life and to where I am headed. I look at the condition of my life and my heart. I speak to Jesus baring everything that is inside my heart and mind.

This is year is no different except for the fact that I get to meet my real self. For the previous years, I offer God highfaluting words which I thought express my worship and love. My faith was all in my head and I refused to be real before Him. But my God is patient, that even if he knew that I wasn’t presenting my real self He still meets me halfway.

My reflections this Lenten Season posed to me a harder challenge—that is to have a good look at my real self, and accept me with all its imperfections. Jesus have handed me a mirror for me to look at what is really beneath the surface I project. My heart is torn to know my real state! All these years, I know that I have been running away from the imperfections of myself. I suffered from the fear of rejection from others, thus, I cannot face the fact that I too cannot accept the person that I am.

I know that Jesus loves me, in spite of all my sins and weaknesses. I heard that Jesus still loves even those who are unlovable because He sees the beauty in each of us. I have seen Him accept those who were condemned. My walk of faith is feeble—I pray for more faith. More than that, I pray that I too learn to love myself just as Jesus does.

one lingering question

am i trying too hard?

san diego-alfonso nuptial

Two souls parted with those two words again--Trixie and Francis. As the wedding rite is being celebrated, I ask Berna, who was then seating beside me "How do you know if the person you're with is the one?". She wasn't able to give me an answer and my mind seemed to went blank. Maybe someday I would know, or yet, I would dare to find out for myself. Marriage is something that is scaring me right now. Perhaps, the Big C is too much for me yet.

But I am really happy for Trixie and Francis, that they have found each other. I pray that the good Lord showers them with all the sweet blessings of heaven. May they keep they're love alive through the years.

I love to quote the second reading lifted from 1 Corinthians 13. Trix and Francis, may you two love each other with this kind of love:

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.

When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.

So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.