quoting meredith grey for the nth time

from Season 4's Forever Young episode:

In some ways we grow up; we have families... we get married, divorced... but for the most part we still have the same problems that we did when we were fifteen. No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling... forever wondering, forever... young.

There comes a point in your life, when you’re officially an adult. Suddenly, you’re old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious, a grown-up. We get taller, we get older.But do we ever really grow up?

kate hit it

Pagpaparaya.

26 August 2009

On hindsight, I realized, Pagpaparaya is equivalent to Pagpapatawad. There is really much of forgiving to do in this world. Well, I am certain in my heart, I have forgiven and I have let go. :)

all i want for Christmas

No doubt it's Christmas already. The cool breeze is blowing again (am wishing it snows...hehe), Christmas songs playing, party skeds crowd the calendar, and Starbucks is starting the sticker craze again. Hehe.

...And since gift-giving has been a tradition. I am drawing up a list of the things I want to receive for Christmas. Hehe. By the way, one of the languages of love is receiving (and giving) gifts... so everyone, it's time to be loving. :p

1) Corrinne May's CDs. (Safe in a crazy world; Fly Away; Beautiful Seed)
2) An Original DVD of "A Very Special Love."
3) A dinner date with John Lloyd Cruz. :) (promise, sobrang saya ko pag nangyari to!)
4) 120Gb Ipod Classic or 32Gb Ipod Touch
5) red flip-flops
6) law books, i.e. Persons and Family Relations, and Property by Atty. Rabuya; Compilation of commercial Laws Vols 1 and 2, codals, RPC Book II by JLB Reyes (para di na ako bibili...hehe)
7) Captivating by Stasi and John Eldredge
8) Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
9) Round trip ticket to Singapore or London (get me out of this country)
10) A purple/violet school bag
11) Red dress
12) More plain shirts
13) That Starbucks planner... red please.

So far, yan muna... Hehe.

my belated sun dance affair

FINALLY, I've seen "A Very Special Love" featuring Sarah Geronimo and John Lloyd Cruz. My sister, the tech-wiz that she is, worked magic to show me the movie. Thanks, Em.

Being a tagalog-movie freak (Yes, I am. Bear with it), I enjoyed every bit of it. It's been a hundred minutes of laughter and tears, really. Uulitin ko to!

Here's a clip:




Waaaahh! Asan ka na John Lloyd ng buhay ko?

Itutuloy ko ang pagbo-blog ko tungkol dito next time. Tama na, sobra na ang pagrerelax ko.

fly, fly

I suddenly felt I wanted to go abroad. Nah, not do an exodus and leave the mess the Philippines is, but simply to have a down time and recharge. Yes, school has just started. But looking back, I realized I really never had a real "vacation" since the year started. Besides, senior year has been too fast-paced (which is expected anyway).

I miss the smell inside airplanes. I miss the view from the top. I miss the busy airports.

Bottom line, I want a getaway. It's been more than a year since my last trip and too bad our Taiwan trip for Christmas folded up. Maybe Singapore is a good destination. That way I can visit Des again. Maybe in summer.

Oh, summer come soon. =)

alter ego

One time, I was bored and looking for something new in my life. Thus, I birthed changingtides.i.ph. I liked the layout, but am having a problem transferring all my entries from here to there. So, until I figured out how to do that, I will be maintaining two blog sites (crap!).

Will keep you friends posted in case, I've finally decided what I'll do with my blogging life. ;)

corrinne may

I have been going gaga over her music. Love 'em. =)


Current Favorites: Five loaves and two fishes (Beautiful Seed); Everything In Its Time, Little Superhero Girl (Safe in A Crazy World) ; Angel in Disguise; Fall to Fly, If You Didn't Love Me(Fly Away)

By the way, she's Catholic. ;)

alice in wonderland and the cheshire cat

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from here? asked Alice.
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” responded the cat.
“I don’t much care where,” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t much matter which way you walk,” replied the cat.

retirements and selling birthrights.

I want to own a house by the beach—preferably a cove. The thought of being awaken by the sound of the waves kissing the shore, or walking barefoot on fine, white sand, or witnessing spectacular sunrises and sunsets day in and out is just pure bliss.

I still have to settle where in the Philippines I will situate my haven, although I already have locations in mind.

******

Semestral break is nearing its end and I am catching up on TV (other than DVD marathons). As I was flicking channels, I chanced upon what seemed to be documentary about retiring in the Philippines in one of the government-owned networks.

Apparently, one of the present government’s thrust is to promote retirement in the Philippines targeting the “foreign market”. This means that the government is active in inviting foreigners to migrate in our country and permanently reside here (which also means influx of dollars in the Philippine economy). The Philippine Retirement Authority (PRA) under the Bureau of Investments is the agency concerned in the processing of Special Resident Retiree’s Visa (SRRV). This gives foreigners the privilege to stay indefinitely in the Philippines with all the benefits and comfort—including owning properties, practicing professions, access to public schools for their children and many others.

No matter how much dollars this may bring in the Philippine Economy, I still find this alarming, absurd, and abhorrent.

This perhaps explains the Korean phenomena that everywhere Filipinos are there are twice or thrice the number of Koreans too. Statistics show that Korean migration has tripled in only a year's time. All along I have been surmising that they have only wanted to get educated in our schools, I never realized that they have really intended to reside in our homeland.

The opening segment of the documentary featured a Japanese national, with his wife, who has purchased an entire island in Cebu. Within this island, the locals depend on the livelihood provided by the couple. Another segment showed a Korean couple residing in a retiree’s village in Tagaytay. They own a house and employed two house helps and a driver—all Filipinos. Another Korean family in Makati employed themselves a Filipino chauffeur. This migration might have resulted to employment to some of our countrymen, but it is just very saddening to realize we are still servants to foreigners in our very own soil—and we even happily oblige. Has our hospitality really gone overboard? I understand how most Filipinos render services in foreign countries as medical staff, domestic helpers or teachers. But I cannot comprehend why even in our own homeland our fellow Filipinos allow themselves to be treated as inferiors. Have we really lost our sense of dignity that we are willing to trade anything in exchange of money? Has “poverty” really pushed us this far? Has discrimination became our comfort zone that we allow this even in our own backyard? Or we are simply sick mentally carrying in our heads the perspective that foreigners are our salvation?

The Korean family which I previously mentioned included two children who are given by PRA the privilege to access our public schools. I held out a smirk. How dare us allow children of other nations to public schools where in fact we cannot even provide quality education to our youth? How in the world will be allow another student share a book with a Filipino child, if we cannot even provide books for each student? Will they also fight for a chair against the other 60+ students? Worse, if these kids go to college, are they also allowed to go to UP, when most of our Filipino youth even haggle their way in against those from the elite, private schools?

Going back to the Japanese couple owning an entire island in the south, how come they were allowed to own property as vast as that? In the long term, if all these retirees will be allowed to do such, will there still be enough land mass left for the Filipinos? Has our government forgotten that millions of Filipinos does not even know what a land title looks like? Or are we really selling our country piecemeal? Mahilig talaga tayo sa tingi.

Has the Filipinos turned out to be greedy in the course of industrialization that all that we think about is money? Are ready to give up our birthrights in exchange of $50,000 which these foreigners pay to get SRRV? Or simply, we have just lost our sense of identity?

Juan, I refuse to be wake up one morning with chatters in language I do not know. (You’d hear them in elevators in most of the condominiums in the metro.)

Give me some enlightenment, please.

I may be sounding like an activist. I may be an idealist but I remain dreaming that the Philippines will rise in this in its glory. I love my country and perhaps that fuels my hope. If nationalism is passé, I know nothing else that would save the Philippines from going down the pit.

If You Love Someone, Ask Them For Nothing

If you love someone, ask them for nothing. Don't hold them back from their destiny. Don't keep them from going off in search of their own answers. Don't ask them for commitment. You will know commitment is real when it is something given willingly, and not as something obligatory. Don't ask them for promises. If you are patient, if you have faith, you will know in your heart when the right time for promises has come.

And when that time arrives, then you will see that you have both lost nothing by setting each other free, and have instead gained a richer, fuller life, a wealth of experiences, and a stronger certainty of your desires.

But should they not return to you, then life hasn't cheated you because no promises were broken. Your bitterness will not last long, and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least, this beautiful soul has colored your life, that knowing them has already made life infinitely more meaningful.

By setting a person free, you run a risk of them not returning. But always remember that you found them beautiful precisely because they were free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can't hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People CHOOSE to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options. Love has no restrictions and it is through mistakes that sometimes we see the right answer. Because if you love someone, you ask them for nothing and they will come back to you.
----------

Got this from Sari. Nice, eh? It did warmed my heart.

an encounter with a god

Yesterday, Calai, being the Labor Commissioner for Bar Ops 2008, finally sat down with DCG as the adviser for the pre-week review materials. Since I am one of her members (and friend), I got the privilege to sit down with them.

See, DCG may ordinarily appear to be an ordinary lawyer, but tell you he is one hell of a legal genius. Save to say that he is the lawyer of several seemingly impossible cases, but his brains come out with arguments that the not any average lawyer can concoct. And he wins. Personally, DCG has been my saving grace. This may be too psychological, but after I've finished Labor Relations under him I felt I have hope for the Labor Bar Exam. I have to admit that my foundation in Labor Law from my former school wasn't very impressive at all.

After several minutes of categorizing schools and how they train their lawyer wannabees (He's from UP and I guess, I can't take away the discrimination from him), DCG gave out his personal advice as regards how Calai and I should prepare for the bar in 2010. For other people, it may be two far years away, but I agree with him that we are actually running out of time. Eight bar subjects summing four years of supposedly diligent study is not joke. Of course, everyone, including me, wants to take it once and only once. So, they say: "Gagawin mo na nga lang, gawin mo na ng maayos." Kung pede nga lang, i-top mo pa.

I now knew why I was delayed in taking my big B exam...kasi kelangan ko pala muna ma-meet si DCG. Hahaha! Fan ito! Seriously, am fueled up. Galing!

what dreams may come

I just read Kate's blog about dreams--being her night visions in her sleep and those which he envisions to be and have. And so this blog entry.

Last night, Dee and I were texting about stuff that are happening with our lives. (See, we talk a lot. Partida pa yan, kasi magkasama pa kami nung gabi. Hahaha!) In one of her replies in my seemingly provoking comments, she said: "Faith, I am a woman who also gets what I want.... Lalalalala." To which, I asked myself, "Ikaw Faith, are you getting what you want? What is it that you really want?" I intimated these thoughts to Dee, and of course she returned the question back to me. I had a seemingly precise answer, although deep within I know it wasn't the summation of my desire. Perhaps, I didn't feel the sense of certainty with my reply.

I know what I want in certain areas of my life. I know that I want to become a lawyer, have more than enough money for security and comfort. I want to have a loving husband and adorable kids as well. I also want to help others. The Mother Teresa in me kicks in too, y'know? I do dream to see the Philippines rise above the ashes that we dig for ourselves. Nevertheless, it's like having a picture in puzzle pieces and such puzzle pieces aren't found just yet. At this point, everything else is seen in mist. As if am staring at an unfinished painting, and after completing it, soon I'll be stepping into it.

I will quote the Bible passage commented by Kate's friend:

"Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
Behold the proud,
His soul is not upright in him;
But the just shall live by his faith." (Habakkuk 2:2-4)

Indeed, dreams do have to be clear for you to have it. Hold it in your head and soon you'll hold it in your hand. Whether it's gonna be a long before it comes, it is still gonna come. It's the resilience of holding unto it. Whether it is a test of how bad you want it to happen or a weeding out of fleeting whims, nevertheless we should not lose faith.

This is such an inspiring morning.

lying is not an option.

One of my professors commented that honesty does not have premium under the law. Partly true. See, in criminal law, admission of guilt can mitigate the penalty you will suffer. Nevertheless, it does not remove your liability.

But come to think of it, isn't that what nature dictates upon? Are we really not supposed to suffer/enjoy the consequences of our choices?

Are we really thinking that lying can leave us unscathed?

________________

I am not perfect, nor have I always told the truth. But I am always wary of people who lie--worse to your face.

Oh well, this happens all the time, but hopefully not to people you share special relationships with. For me, it's the highest form of insincerity and disrespect. It mars trust.

As I always say: "Even if it's gonna hurt me, let me know the truth. That way it won't be doubly painful."

In relationships, lying is not an option. It isn't a brave thing to do.

________________

I can't help it. I have taken a step back...make that two.

sunshine = happiness

I never fail to tell people how much I love it when the sun starts to shine after several days of heavy rain. I love the feeling of waking in a morning full of the sun's glory--the warmth that replaces the cool air and the brightness that shows the color of everything around. Haayy. =) Saya.

Just like today. More than the departure of bagyong Helen, it feels like my life's rainy days have come to an end as the sun starts to shine again. A happy feeling brews inside of me. Feels like there are a lot of good things to come. Hehe. Can't wait. ;)
________

Oh, by the way. I did have happy rainy days the past few days though. ;) Surprisingly. Thanks to someone who loves it when it rains. ;)

do the gods envy lawyers too?

The problem with the profession that I am treading is that, it frowns upon display of emotions. It expects every lawyer to bracket himself from feeling any untoward emotion for the cause of the client. Oftentimes, the lawyer needs to deny himself of whatever feelings he may have at a certain point in time, concerning personal stuff, in order to see things in a more logical and rational perspective. Heavy, powerful me-emotions are not allowed to get in the way.

Emotions blur reason.

Maybe.

However, reason dictates also that humanity requires emotion. Does that mean, lawyers aren’t allowed to be human?

Stop.

I have always believed I am a cerebral person.

Stubborn.

How come at this point it is my heart which is stubborn? Is that possible? Or better yet, maybe it is really my head which is stubborn to dictate to my heart to stop that crap.

Stop.

Earlier this morning, I woke up seeing my brother watching Troy on DVD. I sat for a while, and joined him. That scene when Achilles “rescued” Briseis from the Myrmidons caught me. The conversation inside the tent was suddenly heard at a different tone. Achilles’ words pierced me. He said: " The gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful becuase we're doomed."

Is this my rhema for today?

Stop.

I should be reading my CTA cases in the library. Damn.

I better get ready for school.

starbucks thoughts

Sometimes, no matter how logical you might be wired or trained to see and approach things, life will always find a way to suddenly frustrate you by presenting unexpected twists and turns. Even if your mind profusely refuse to reconcile these occurrences, you are only left to succumb what is impossible can be possible. Or console yourself that perhaps the world has its own cosmical law which isn't governed by logic.

Sometimes, on hindsight, you only get to wonder that indeed the series of events that unfolded in your life happened in the exact order as they should have happened; That you start to agree with the world that things do fall in their proper places, when in fact at the time these things start to occur you were in oblivion of why and how things can possibly be. Those were the times when you were hunted by endless questions which then does not offer any answer except for some glimmer of hope that maybe life has something better in store. Someday. Somehow.

Then finally you start to settle with the belief that we live in a life full of mystery. Where no matter how much we prepare for what th future holds we are left to still expect the unexpected. Paradoxically, we work for permanence in a constantly changing plane.

Wicked, isn't it?

love lessons from sex and the city

I was never an avid follower of Sex and the City on HBO. But recently, ever-faithful friend Wena asked me to see the movie with her. Oh men! I loved it. I too am in search of those two L's: Labels and Love. Hahaha! This movie is a "must-see". Girls, go see it with your girlfriends and cherish them for they are your sisters and allies. And go see it with your boyfriends too, so they'd understand our quirks and idiosyncrasies. ;)

I found this article from Cosmopolitan.com and I am reposting it. Nice.

Case study: Miranda and Steve
When Miranda met bartender Steve Brady, she was skeptical as usual. He was nice (and easy on the eyes) but clearly not relationship material. Not surprisingly, their divergent careers created problems: conflicting schedules, fights about money, and different outlooks on life. Miranda could have deleted his number from her BlackBerry, but ultimately, his laid-back personality and devotion won her over. The unlikely pair started a family and eventually tied the knot.
Lesson #1: Date against your type.

Case study: Carrie and Aidan
Hot furniture designer Aidan was everything Carrie thought she wanted in a man: emotionally available, honest, and ready to commit. Aidan wanted Carrie to meet his parents, have the keys to his apartment, and eventually be his wife. She attempted to change by quitting smoking (and nixing her addiction to Mr. Big), giving country life a shot, and wearing his engagement ring around her neck. But no matter how hard Carrie tried, she couldn't commit to any of it. While Aidan seemed perfect on paper, he wasn't the ideal guy for Carrie.
Lesson #2: Don't change for a man, no matter what.

Case study: Charlotte and Trey
An optimist with a very romantic view of love, Charlotte believed her dreams had come true when she was literally rescued by the single, wealthy, and handsome Dr. Trey MacDougal. Despite some major red flags — a lackluster marriage proposal, a meddling mother-in-law, and a sexless honeymoon — Charlotte was determined to make the relationship work. Although she gave it her all, their union still failed.
Lesson #3: Never ignore the warning signs that tell you a relationship isn't working.
Case study: Carrie and Berger
Witty writer Jack Berger had these famous last words for Carrie, written on a Post-it note: "I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me." After the abrupt end to their short, rocky relationship, Carrie vowed to spend the same amount of time getting over her breakup as Berger had spent ending it. If only it were that easy. Though Carrie managed to avoid him, she ended up melting down in front of his friends, which undoubtedly got back to him. She learned that it's better to face the music (or in her case, the Post-it note) and get it over with.
Lesson #4: As painful as breakups can be, you have to mourn before moving on.

Case study: Samantha and Smith
Samantha's dating philosophy: "I'm a trysexual. I'll try anything once." Her only rule was to never fall in love. She was so set in her man-eating ways that when she scouted and seduced a gorgeous waiter at a raw food restaurant, she didn't even ask his name. She encouraged the struggling young actor to play out his sexual fantasies and took him under her wing professionally, changing his name to Smith Jerrod and making him the Absolut Hunk. Somewhere between sex and stardom, Samantha fell in love and eventually confessed to Smith, "You've meant more to me than any man I have ever known."
Lesson #5: Dare to fall in love.

Case study: Carrie and Mr. Big
Sure, Carrie might have done some of the chasing, but in the end it was Mr. Big who showed up at her door the day she left New York City for Paris. Angry that his timing was always off, she screamed, "Forget you know my number! In fact, forget you know my name!" But he didn't give up. He called to tell her he loved her, and fortunately, Charlotte was there to answer his desperate call. The next day, he met the ladies for brunch and admitted, "You're the loves of her life, and a guy would be lucky to come in fourth." With their blessing, Mr. Big went to Paris to get "their" girl.
Lesson #6: Let him chase you.

Case study: Carrie
The eternal single girl had her share of romances, chronicled in her weekly column, but the truest love story is the one she wrote for herself. Bad luck and messy breakups were de rigueur in Carrie's life. By surviving the pitfalls — a Manolo-mugging, a computer crash, and a very embarrassing fashion fall — Carrie gained the confidence and strength to continue her search for true love. "The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself," she said. "And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."
Lesson #7: Be fearlessly single.

it's a girl thing

For the past few days I have noticed that I have non-nonchalantly throwing sharp comments on people. I have this irritating feeling flowing all-over me that I become too nitpicky on things (Oh yeah, fine, I am naturally like that but I am extra-critical, lately). I am not as tolerant as I can be. I whine more frequently. Then, on another instant, I sink into sentimentality. I suddenly start to miss things, people and stuff. Out of the blue I want to be touched. I also feel like bursting into tears for nothing. WHAAAAH!

Tell you this is happening in flicks of seconds (Nah, that's exaggeration.) I am going haywire!

Is this part of the reason why women are labeled as erratic? Maybe. We really are.

This is killing me. It's as if am sick or what have you. Truth being, I guess this is just part of that mood swings that is a result of the biological changes occurring monthly in women. I've also read in one article that there is really a link between moods and hormones. It says:

Although mood disorders and depression may occur at any age during a woman’s life, women seem to more vulnerable during times of hormonal fluctuations such as the menstrual period, pregnancy and perimenopause, according to a report released by the Society for Women’s Health Research in November (2007).

During times of hormonal flux, many women are able to emerge relatively unscathed. But for others, a normal hormonal transition can trigger mild to severe mood disorders including depression and bipolar disorder. “Science has revealed clues as to why these changes may occur in some women,” says Peter Schmidt, M.D., an investigator in the National Institute of Mental Health’s Reproductive Endocrine Studies Unit, “but further research is needed to definitively show what causes depression and mood disorders in women during hormonal transitions.”

Now, I say, it's fun being a girl...most of the time.

ten random things

Tagged by Berna, Nina, and Calai.

1. Each blogger starts with 10 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. Bloggers who are tagged need to blog about their own 10 random facts/habits.
3. At the end of your blog, tag 10 people and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment and tell them that they've been taggged and to read your blog.

======

1. I am a true blooded Thomasian. I was born and had practically lived in UST almost all my life.

2. I love Pakbet and Kare-Kare.

3. I can do things alone. I watch movies alone, stroll in the mall, alone. A nice downtime for me is a day alone in a coffee shop with a book and lots and lots of coffee. But am hoping I won't spend the rest of my life alone. (Nyahahaha!)

4. I wanted to play soccer when I was younger. I was just too lazy to run, so I contended myself watching the games.

5. I enjoy climbing mountains and exploring the underwater. (Sir Bubut, sama na ako sa dive. Hehe!)

6. I have a huge crush on Paolo Bediones since fourth year high school. I even wanted to take Interdisciplinary Studies in Ateneo because of him. Wahahaha!

7. Jap food is comfort food.

8. I listen to all kinds of music EXCEPT metal rock. Rap is tolerable but I'm certainly not a fan.

9. I am starting up a new collection: beers. (Kath, got me the choco-beer from Japan. Tenchu, Kath! I got this king can San Mig Pale Pilsen produced in Thailand from Subic. When I placed them side by side... I thought it will be good to collect these kinda stuff. Hehe!)

10. I soooooo love to travel. :) Window seats on airplanes are the best.

I am tagging (no particular order):

1. em
2. carol
3. estar
4. kath
5. zeny
6. ysabs
7. paloy
8. tidoy
9. sari
10. keewy

giddy.

The first time I loved forever
Was when you whispered my name
And I knew at once you loved me
For the me of who I am 

The first time I loved forever
I cast all else aside
And I bid my heart to follow
Be there no more need to hide

And if wishes and dreams
Are merely for children
And if love's a tale for fools
I'll live the dream with you
For all my life and forever
There's a truth I'll always know
When my world divides and shatters
Your love is where I'll go

break

jump. up and down.

let out that one loud: "whew!"

i need sleep.

free.
at least for a few weeks.

wise words on finals week

One of my favorite characters in Grey's Anatomy is Dr. Preston Burke and I remembered him say the following quoted lines while I was reviewing for my Corporation Law exam.

From the episode Blues For Sister Someone [2.23]

Burke (talking to Christina): There was an interview that Eugene (famous violinist) gave. I saved it. I taped it to my bathroom mirror. He said that he wasn’t the most talented student at music school. But he said what he lacked in natural ability, he made up for in discipline. He practiced. All the time. All the time he practiced. I wasn’t like you. I wasn’t the most talented student in school. I wasn’t the brightest. But I was the best.
Christina: You practiced.
Burke: I practiced

He practiced. I'll practice.
I miss Preston Burke on Grey's.

finals

Finals na naman.

Kung tutuusin mas gusto ko pag-araw ng exam dahil walang recits. Ang ayoko lang ay ang mga araw bago mag-exam. Ayoko nung feeling na kailangan ko mag-aral. Fine, kailangan ko naman talaga mag-aral pero ayoko ng pakiramdam na kailangan siya. Mas hindi ako nagfa-function pag ganon. Pero, balibaligtarin ko man ang mundo wala naman akong choice kundi mag-aral, o piliin ko nalang na tanggaping hindi pumasa. Shempre ayoko nun.

_______

******Ang hirap talaga magsulat sa Pilipino. Bakit ko ba ginagawa to?
_______

Natatanong ko tuloy ang sarili ko, kahit makailang ulit ko na itong naitanong, bakit nga ba ako nagpapakahirap mag-aral ng batas? Kung tutuusin pede rin naman akong kumita ng pera sa ibang propesyon. Nasubukan ko na nga iyon, diba? Mas madaling maging empleyado. Magtatrabaho ka (at pag minsan, magpapanggap) ng walong oras isang araw tapos buwan-buwan meron ng laman ang ATM account mo. Pag uwi mo ng bahay, uupo ka na sa harap ng TV, matutulog, tapos kinabukasan papasok ka na ulit sa opisina. Pag weekend pede kang makipagkita sa mga kaibigan. Pwede mag-out of town ng walang iniisip na sandamakmak na kasong babasahin. Walang mashadong sakripisyo, di tulad sa law school. Mas marami kang oras para sa sarili. At mas maraming pera.

Malamang yun ang problema.

Kumita na kasi ako e. Tama naman nga sila, me epekto ang pagtigil sa pag-aaral para magtrabaho. Pero kung tutusin, kung gusto mo naman talaga ang isang bagay kahit na anong mangyari hindi ka titigil hanggang makuha mo ang iyong nais. Kaya nga ako bumalik sa pag-aaral. Para maabot ang pangarap (Shet! Ang cheesy!) Hay. Ang gulo.

Stop.

Tumawag ang ninang at pinsan ko. May tinatanong sila tungkol sa Condominium Law at Legal Separation. Tama ba naman yun? Kung kelang nag-eemote ako sa pagtatanong kung bakit ako nag-aaral tamang tatawag sila at magtatanong. O well. Sinagot ko naman sa abot ng aking makakaya. Sa tingin ko naman nakuntento sila sa sagot ko. Palagay ko rin naman tama.

Eto kaya ang sagot sa mga walang kwenta kong tanong ngayong gabi?

Pucha. Makapag-aral na nga.

booze-ing

Finally! I've figured out how to paste this video. I have been having problems uploading it on my Multiply site, but thanks to Bianca's Obama Video which at one point pushed me to think harder how to actually embed a video from YouTube here in Blogger. (I refuse to ask, I am quite proud, y'know. Although, I did asked her, but I figured it out before she actually replied. Hahahaha!)

So, the video...I stumbled upon it, once, while browsing Inquirer.Net. Aaannd I was fascinated with all the variety of beers available it this place they call Beers Paradise. Hmn...

This place deserves a try. (evil grin)ü

More on beers...

Last Valentine's Day, I learned that there is Choco-Flavored beer marketed in Japan. According to the news article, it's made up of several kinds of malt which give its chocolate-y taste (Sounds like MIlo. Hahaha!) Alcohol content is 8.9 percent.

Interesting, huh?

And since Kath is in Kobe, I immediately asked her to bring me home a bottle. ;p Hopefully she finds one.

chasing cars

I have always loved this song. Currently though, I am enjoying Natasha Bedingfield's version.

But the more I listen to it, the more it unfolds to me a thousand new more meanings.

Perfect.

___________



We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay hereIf I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay hereIf I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay hereIf
I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

let me sleep

I am having a recurring dream.

For the first two occasions I dreamt about it, I did not bother. I thought, maybe it's just one of those images that pass your mind at sleep. Until I dreamt of it the third, fourth and fifth time.

Now, I wonder. Does this already mean something? Is my subconscious telling me something I do not know? Or is it letting a forsaken memory surface?

I am not really a believer of dream symbols, and dreams being prophetic. All I know is that one's subconscious mind surfaces during sleep. So, dreams can be manifestations of hidden thoughts, hopes or fears.

I am puzzled. Is my recurring dream still part of my subconscious? Is it a fear or a desire maybe? For one, my mind is successful in bringing it to my attention. I can't let it off my consciousness now.

Am having goosebumps.

one afternoon along taft avenue

Tapping my fingers on my hardbound, maroon covered book.

Why does it always feel that I am like that two-year old kid who has been told not to touch my marshmallow so I can get another one? (And I comply.)

Why is it excruciatingly painful to wait?

Is it because of the seemingly useless passing of time while you are stuck somewhere you feel you shouldn’t be? Or will it be less troubling not knowing where you want to be and simply sit and let things unfold before you? Isn’t the process still tiring and taxing nevertheless?

It’s that prolonged agony of getting to a destination, a thing, a dream, a person—that long lull between you and a desire.

Who ever wants to wait, in the first place?

A Jesuit priest once said that waiting is a sacrament. Thus, to my frail understanding, it is an avenue of grace. Am lost in the mystery.

application for permission to date my daughter

I read this from Lea Salonga's Multiply Blog. (Yes, I read her blog. Curse me. Judge me. I don't care!) I find this hilarious.

See, I spent my teenage years without having a dad at home. So, if I go out on dates or just with friends, at the very least, it's my Mom's seething anger that will welcome anyone who would dare ask permission. (Oh, she's changed. Naman! Ilang taon na ba ako? Hahaha!) My dad was cool as I thought and known him to be such, but I still wonder how he'd handle these kinda stuff if he was actually here. I remember mom telling me, that on one time she visited dad, how my dad cried and told her that he wants to go home when he read my letter where I told him that I have a suitor at 13. Hahaha! Hilarious, but I loved it.

Anyway, here goes Lea's entry:

I saw this on a friend's blog... I thought to post it here this early, many years before my own daughter begins dating.

And just so you know... I'm great with a gun.
-----------------------------
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME ____________________________DATE OF BIRTH ____________

HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT _________ IQ _________GPA _________

SOCIAL SECURITY #______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #____________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_____________________________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________________________ ZIP______


Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No

If No, explain: ___________________________________________

Number of years they have been married _________________________________

If less than your age, explain ___________________________________________



ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No

pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? ______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?_____________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? ____________ mother? ___________ pastor? ____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
_________________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

__________________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the: __________________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

__________________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? __________________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

________________________________________________________________

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________



I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

__________________________________________________________________

Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!) _______________________________ ___________________________

Mother's Signature Father's Signature _______________________________ ________________________________

Pastor/Priest/ Rabbi State Representative/Congressman



Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back) .



To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.


Daddy's Rules for Dating

Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're surely not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

movie marathon, anyone?

This is a repost from Kukay's Multiply Blog. I have always been amazed by Geng's dad, with all the artsy-bitsy thing that he is. Dyan mana si Geng e.

I'll find time to check these movies out sometime. (And I better publish this ASAP, before I kill myself. I am supposed to be studying, you see?)

________

This article will see print on People's Journal (ata) within the week. Column ito ng tatay ko and i'm sharing it here.
My kuya, who is working in the Middle East, usually emails my dad about trivial stuff and my very sweet poodrahbel includes some of their email conversations in his column. Kuya writes and Poodrah reacts.

Listahan lang ‘to ng mga pelikulang astig

Ulat ng anak:

JOY gave me this website so as to combat boredom and to watch movies even before they are shown on the big screen... She knows that I am a movie buff and I love remakes, not to mention my knowledge of books turned into movies.... I usually watch movies and TV series in this site. My current series favorite is Prison Break (adapted from Clint Eastwood's Escape from Alcatraz) and Smallville (I am a superman fan ever since kaya hilig ko ito). Downloading these movies for, well, pirating (yari pag nalaman ito ng OMB) is a different thing and be sure you have Quickplayer, Flashplayer and DIVX since most of these movies are rip offs (not to mention illegally taken).

If you want to watch old movies that have better quality... Maraming old movies dun as well as new ones and rip offs. Dito ko napanood ‘yung old movies ni George Romero and yung The 300 Spartans (mas maganda pa rin ang 300 ni Frank Miller) but you have to have the mentioned programs in the PC before you can watch. Ask assistance from Aaron or Arjuna (for sure ikatutuwa din ito ng dalawa).

Ulot ng kulamnistang ama:

ADD this to an arbitrary list of must-see films— with the most memorable lines or silences I can reckon:

(1) Kazuo Mori’s Zatoichi at Large had the blind swordsman protagonist hemmed in an orchard by a tangle of peach tree branches groaning with the weight of ripe fruits. Protagonist sniffs at the deluge of sweet ripe scents, plucks out a fruit, and trudges on—why, he could have plucked a lot or gorged himself but didn’t. Too bad movies don’t come with aromas to touch our noses. That silent scene had me chewing a lot of cud about taking only the needful burden on one’s body.

(2) Yoji Yamada’s The Twilight Samurai had the dirt-poor retainer telling the samurai he was ordered to kill that all he had on himself was a bamboo sword—doomed samurai villain’s gaunt face manifests a chiaroscuro of emotions before going berserk at what he deems was an insult at his swordsmanship. That’s a scene packed with pregnant silences before the bloodbath— but the movie is all about a hard-up petty samurai trying to raise two kids and an elderly mom, something too close to a Pinoy’s heart.

(3) Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai had this peasant character mawkishly, awfully, woefully holding back his tears as he stares at an empty rice bin—its contents filched the previous night. The film in all its show of martial strategy, tactics, and no-holds-barred brutality is a fight for RICE…

(4) The Christian Bale-starrer American Psycho starts out with a passionless monologue that sounds like a Dr. Vicky Belo advertisement of skin-care products. The horror of a hollow life is probed to its marrow in this novel-turned-film.

(5) Nagisa Oshima’s In the Realm of the Senses has a solemn, silent foreshadowing scene which limns the woman protagonist—she has no undies on and lets out a dark eyeful in her romping moments-- with two giggling kids in a sitting room. Scene ends as femme fatal grabs the young boy’s crotch, boy cries but she holds on to his penis.

(6) The Rosauro de la Cruz scenario Scorpio Nights opens with panoply, unrelenting, all-out assault of maddening din that defines the microcosm of an urban poor setting—no let up to the noise that invades even the nooks and crannies of even clothed crotches. So it’s no shock that the Anna Marie Gutierrez character whispers to her lover within her husband’s earshot, “Kantutin mo ‘ko.”

(7) Ken Kesey’s novel-turned-movie metaphor for an authoritarian regime One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest has this finale in which the supposedly mute character Big Chief grunts then heaves off a drinking fountain, and as water geysers out, he smashes the lunatic’s asylum windows with the fountain, then, flees.

(8) The 1954 Gary Cooper-starrer High Noon packs taut tension in a no-dialogue panning shot of the protagonist trudging through the streets of his town, seeking out volunteer deputies for his noon showdown with a convict who swore to kill him. It’s an emotional tug-of-war between shirking from social responsibility and heeding duty’s call.

(9) Orson Welles’s Citizen Kane paints the portrait of a ruthless media mogul who barks this unforgettable line to a correspondent sent off to cover a war that never was, “You write the news, we provide the war!”

(10) Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner had this wry line spouted off by a replicant, “We came to meet our maker” that sums up a creature’s undying yearning to interface with his creator, superhuman seeking a not-so-puny god.

(11) A Viet movie, The Scent of Green Papayas had a sigh, a reverie smack in hard-nosed reality, a pause for a sequence featuring the female protagonist listening to her pet cricket in a tiny bamboo cage…

flickr and double C

I have just recently revived my Flickr account, which I have finally decided to be the repository of most of my amateur shots as a budding photographer (/lawyer). Most of those are random shots while some are documentation of my adventures with nature.

I have always loved taking pictures (and being taken of, as well. Hehe!) and most of my friends tell me that I have perspective. Guess, it is a flair. My works aren't as good as those which I have seen but I am happy when I see them.

Although back in college I have already wanted to get myself to get hold of a camera and shoot around, I refused to indulge. Back then, the SLR's are manual which work for films. I decided that it'll be too costly for me to spend on rolls and rolls of it. So randomly, I just took bits of photography advice from those who have decided to embark on the pricey hobby. And I noted. Most are about framing and focus. I tried using them everytime I get the chance peak through the lens.

In the advent of digital cameras, I took the pleasure of taking as many shots as I can with the little gadget that I used to borrow from friends. Until my dad brought home one pocket digital cam to my delight! My pocket digicam went with me to the mountains I've climbed to the bars with friends and to a city outside the Philippines. I took all the pictures I can. (This even caused my mom and I to fight. She accused me of being a photo addict. O yes, I am. Hahaha!) The pocket digicam later evolved to a DSLR. Woohoo! Although, it is a communal among all the family members, only one of my brothers and I use it most of the time.

This year, I will spend more time learning more of photography. The artsy side of me will be blooming once more.
---------------------------------


"Some rights reserved", hailed Creative Commons.

This afternoon, I attended the launching of Creative Commons and Creative Commons Philippines Philippines V. 3.0 (CC-PH) at school. It is a non-stock, non-profit organization worldwide which seeks to liberalize (according to the discretion of the author of the work) the use, distribution and exercise of all other rights of any created work without any legal repurcussions. Creative Commons provides creators with the option of acquiring licenses that defines which freedoms they want their works to carry.

Copyright immediately attaches to any person's created work. It can be a song (which may pertain to the melody or the lyrics together or separately), a book, a script, an article (which includes this blog entry), an artwork, a photo, maps, sketches, etc. Thus, the author of the created work is attributed as the rightful owner of the work and he/she can exercise all the rights attached to it. The symbol of depicting an encircled C serves as notice that the owner of the work reserves all his rights over the created work and excludes the whole world from exercising such. Although Copyright is protective, it may also be restrictive. CC provides for an option to make it less restrictive considering the proliferation of lots of created works in the Internet.

On a personal note, I find this initiative very good. It encourages freer exchange of works, promotes collaboration (which can lead to improvement of craft) and a maximized exercise of one's freedom.

Image on left:© 2008. Berne Guerrero. Some Rights Reserved. Except when otherwise noted , this work is licensed under
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/ph/

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

What Ma. Fatima Gimenez De Chavez Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun. Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you. You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night. Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

adieu, oh-seven

I wasn't particularly in the mood to put down stuffs on my blog, especially lately. I'm enjoying much of "me" time and keeping things to myself. I've been spending more time on my paper journal than here.ü

But I do want to post something before the New Year goes in full swing. Haha!Maybe just to remove some cobwebs in here. (Uh-huh. OC-OC me... Hahaha!)

A few days before 2008, I started asking myself what are the things I want to work on, change, try for the first time, do-all-over-again and all those New Year resolutions thing that you can think of. Then it dawned to me, that New Year isn't as monumental as it really is. Truth is, it is just another day. Nothing different from all the others, except that the multitude of people think that it is. Tradition perhaps. But come to think of it, it really isn't anything special after all. In fact, we can even set a date other than January 1 to reckon a period.

So, what is my point in stating that observation? Wala lang.

Seriously, I felt that I got in more practical view of life that the externals of life remain to be such. It is only us who impress meaning on things. We want certain days to be special; we build momentum; we create traditions. WE. If that is the case, then the January 1 is just another day still, but we can use its momentum to put meaning in our mediocre existence.

Everybody wishes everyone a Happy New Year.

In my case, I continue hoping that each day unfolds to be better for me, and everyone that is dear to me (and hopefully to others as well), not only every start of every Gregorian Calender year but in our entire stay on Earth (and beyond). I look forward to each day filled with bounty, love and peace. I expect little surprises that will blow me away and make me stand in awe on how things fall in their proper places according to the Higher Power that coordinates things for our good. In each day, I look forward to daring myself, learning new things, growing and constantly letting go of those which aren't beneficial after all.

During New Year's eve, we let off fireworks to brighten the dark sky with fancy shapes and colors. This year, I will paint my own dark sky and let the light stay.



------------------

For this year, I have decided to list down stuff that would want to accomplish, rekindle and try. Here's a sneak peek. I'll keep most to myself.

1) Rekindle my romance with my Camera and Languages (either I polish my Spanish or formally learn French)
2) Travel more. (How about another out of the country trip? Mwahahaha!)

....and a lot more.